Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Tag: hypnotherapy

  • Surviving the Anxiety of a Family Christmas

    Surviving the Anxiety of a Family Christmas

    It’s Christmas. You’re with the rest of your wider family. The drinks are flowing – maybe a little too liberally. Do you all get on? Do you always end up arguing? Do you look on embarrassed as some of your family are behaving in a way that you wouldn’t dream of? Is a family Christmas something you look forward to, or do you dread it?

    For some Christmas is a happy time, but there are plenty of people who find it a time filled with anxiety – dreading the argument that they know they will have with their cousin, horrified at their sister-in-law’s drinking habits, and just waiting for their auntie to make passive aggressive comments about the present they got.

    Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?

    It all starts in the primitive part of our brain called the Limbic System. This part of our brain is responsible for our survival. It is not very clever, it just finds a pattern of behaviour that seems to work and repeats it.

    Think of a squirrel – it is looking through the leaf litter on the forest floor for something to eat when you come wandering along the path. The squirrel does not stop to think how dangerous you might be, it just does what it always does – it runs to the nearest tree and climbs, staying on the opposite side of the trunk to you. It’s life is ruled by its limbic system and so it always does the same thing – the thing that it believes is going to keep it alive.

    Our own limbic system (which gets more in control after a few drinks) is on high alert at the Christmas party. The party is not part of its routine, so it is on high alert for potential survival threats.

    When your cousin wanders over to say hello, the limbic system goes on even higher alert, remembering the argument you had last year. It also knows that whatever you did last year seemed to work – you survived – and that’s all it cares about. It does not care how you feel about things or whether you are having a good time. Its only job is to make sure you survive. So it encourages you to repeat the argument you had last year

    And so your limbic system raises your anxiety, and creates anger, just like it did last year and the year before that. Before you know it, you are in a full blown argument following exactly the same pattern as you always do. You go away from the party angry, with anxiety levels really stirred up, vowing never to talk to your cousin again.

    … And your limbic system has won.

    What Can We Do Instead?

    You have a clever brain. You know that the Christmas family party is not life-threatening – even though your limbic system does not. You need to keep that intelligent part of your brain in charge.

    So remember: There are things you can control and things you cannot control. Do the best with the things you can control, and accept that things are going to happen that you cannot control.

    • You cannot control your sister-in-law’s drinking habits as she pours the drink down her throat straight from the bottle, but you can control whether or not it upsets you.
    • You cannot control your cousin when they say something controversial just to get you riled up, but you can control whether or not you choose to respond.
    • You cannot control your auntie’s passive aggressive comments about the present you got her, but you can chose whether to feel bad about it, or just laugh it off.

    You see you cannot change other people’s behaviour, what they say, their beliefs, or what they think of you – but you can change your own reaction to these things. Your goal is to end the party without adding to your stress and anxiety. And if you can, enjoy the your time together too.

    And Finally …

    After the Christmas break, if you find your anxiety levels are a bit out of control, if you want to get back in control of your emotions, if you find you cannot manage this on your own, then you might want to consider hypnotherapy. I would be happy to have a chat if you want to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

    Photo by Maurício Mascaro on Pexels

  • Are You SAD? Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

    Are You SAD? Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

    As the days grow shorter and the skies turn grey, many of us feel a natural shift in mood. But for some, this seasonal change is more than just the “winter blues”—it’s a condition known (somewhat ironically) as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). SAD is a type of depression, typically recurring each year, starting in the late autumn or early winter and remitting during the spring and throughout the summer.

    What Exactly is SAD?

    SAD is formally recognised as a major depressive disorder with a seasonal pattern. While less common, some people experience a reverse pattern, with depressive episodes occurring during the spring and summer. The most common form, however, is the winter-pattern SAD.

    The Science Behind the Seasonal Shift

    The cause of SAD is strongly linked to the decrease in sunlight during the winter. Experts believe this reduction in light can disrupt the body’s internal biological clock, or circadian rhythm, leading to a misalignment.

    • Melatonin Levels: The body produces the sleep-regulating hormone melatonin at higher levels in the dark. The increased darkness in winter can lead to an overproduction of melatonin, making you feel excessively sleepy and lethargic.
    • Serotonin Imbalance: Serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects mood, may be imbalanced. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin levels, triggering depressive symptoms.
    • Vitamin D Deficiency: Sunlight is essential for the production of Vitamin D, which plays a role in serotonin activity. Lower levels of Vitamin D in winter may also contribute to SAD.

    Key Symptoms of Winter-Pattern SAD

    SAD symptoms tend to mimic those of major depression.

    • Mood: Feeling depressed, hopeless, or worthless nearly every day
    • Energy: Low energy (lethargy), feeling sluggish, and increased fatigue
    • Sleep: Oversleeping (hypersomnia), difficulty waking up
    • Appetite: Increased appetite and carbohydrate cravings
    • Social: Loss of interest in activities; social withdrawal

    What Do You Do To Manage SAD?

    Lifestyle Adjustments

    • Simple changes to your routine can help mitigate symptoms:
    • Maximise Sunlight Exposure: Take walks outside, especially in the morning.
    • Exercise Regularly: Any physical activity helps improve your mood.
    • Eat well: Focus on a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables and lean proteins.
    • Prioritise Sleep Hygiene: Maintain a consistent sleep schedule to help maintain your circadian rhythm.

    Light Therapy (Phototherapy)

    Light therapy involves sitting a set distance from a special device called a light box, which emits a bright, full-spectrum light for about 20–30 minutes each morning. The bright light mimics natural outdoor light, helping to regulate your circadian rhythm. It has to be a light box specifically designed for full-spectrum light – Don’t use a normal indoor lamp or a sunlamp.

    Medication

    If your doctor diagnoses you with SAD, they may prescribe antidepressants that you start taking from Autumn until the Spring. It is thought that these medications work by balancing serotonin levels in the brain.

    Therapy

    Although there is a physical cause of SAD, talking therapies can help. Hypnotherapy and CBT can both be used to help clients with SAD.

    And Finally …

    SAD is a real condition. You can get a diagnosis for SAD if you want help from your doctor. However, large numbers of people develop SAD-like symptoms but are not bad enough to received a diagnosis.

    Whether or not you have been diagnosed with SAD – hypnotherapy can help. I operate my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. If you would like to Contact Me, I would be happy to talk to you about what hypnotherapy can do for you.

    Photo by David Kanigan on Pexels

  • Recovering From the Stress of a Breakup

    Recovering From the Stress of a Breakup

    Breaking up from a partner is one of the most stressful things that can happen to us. This stress can lead to increasing levels of anxiety and other negative emotions. Hypnotherapy cannot sort out the practical problems of breaking up, but it can help you regain control, and calm the emotions right down so as to be able to deal with the practical matters of the breakup a little easier.

    The following are based on real case scenarios that I have dealt with. Details have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals concerned:

    Anonymised Case Study 1

    Albert discovered that his wife was cheating on him with a man at work. He felt angry and humiliated. His feelings of self-worth as a husband were at rock bottom. They separated and started divorce proceedings. The divorce constantly reminded him of the humiliation he had gone through and he started to have an almost constant feeling of anxiety. After a series of hypnotherapy sessions, he gradually got his anxiety under control and he was able to deal with the solicitors and the divorce proceedings in a calmer, more relaxed manner.

    Anonymised Case Study 2

    Beatrice had been with her partner for years and was growing increasingly dissatisfied with the relationship. She finally decided that it was time to leave her partner, and told her that she was breaking up with her. Her partner was angry about the breakup. Beatrice started to feel guilty even though she knew the partnership would never work in the long term. She started hypnotherapy to help her deal with this dilemma and the feelings of guilt that were giving rise to depression. She was eventually able to get rid of the feelings of guilt and square things with her ex-partner properly. They parted on friendly terms.

    Anonymised Case Study 3

    Christine discovered her partner with another woman. After an angry breakup and several months apart, they decided to get back together again. Christine was certain that he would never do anything like that again, but was still filled with uncontrollable feelings of doubt and jealousy when he met other women at work or socially. She found herself constantly challenging him about what he was doing, and that put an increasing strain on the relationship. After a series of hypnotherapy sessions, she regained control of her feelings and was able to discuss things properly with him.

    And finally …

    As illustrated in these case studies, a breakup in a relationship can give rise to a range of damaging emotions. Hypnotherapy can help people in this situation with the emotions that arise, leaving them better able to deal with the more practical consequences of the breakup, and then better able to rebuild their lives afterwards.

    Of course, other types of therapy can help too, but if you want to see how well hypnotherapy can help you to regain control of your emotions following a breakup, you can Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online. I would be happy to talk to you to answer any questions you might have about how I can help.

    Photo courtesy of Cottonbro Studio on Pexels

  • What Problems Can Hypnotherapy Help With?

    What Problems Can Hypnotherapy Help With?

    Hypnotherapy helps you reprogramme your subconscious. All of us have times when there is something about us that is not right, things where our brain seems out of our control. This is just our subconscious getting things wrong.

    Hypnotherapy can help you get back in control of the things that don’t seem right. When your subconscious gets things wrong, it can force you to feel or do or think things that you would prefer not to.

    Here are some of the things that hypnotherapy can help with:

    Unwanted Negative Feelings

    We sometimes have negative feelings that are far more than the usual ups and downs of the day. For example:

    • Having anxiety or dread most or all of the time
    • Extreme sadness (depression)
    • Uncontrolled anger
    • Jealousy
    • Fear of something irrational (phobias)
    • Lack of confidence
    • Panic attacks
    • A feeling of being overwhelmed by everything
    • Lack of motivation to do things

    Getting Over Something Traumatic

    When something traumatic happens in your life, hypnotherapy can help you come to terms with it quicker than if you had to do it on your own. For example:

    • Someone close passing away
    • Being involved in, or just watching a major accident
    • Finding out your partner has been cheating on you
    • Break up of a long-term relationship
    • Being a victim of violence

    Not Being In Charge Of Your Thoughts

    There are times for all of us when we are not entirely in charge of our own thoughts. When taken to the extreme, this can become overwhelming. For example:

    • A voice in your head constantly criticising you
    • Constantly thinking about all the things you have to do
    • You keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong (catastrophising)
    • Embarrassment about something you did that you keep thinking about

    Doing Something That You Can’t Control

    So many people have eaten something or done something automatically and then thought, “I shouldn’t really have done that.” When you keep doing this and can’t stop that it becomes a problem. For example:

    • Smoking
    • Uncontrolled drinking
    • Uncontrolled drug taking
    • Self-harm
    • Binge eating
    • Skin picking
    • Pulling out your hair
    • Compulsive behaviours

    Avoiding Something That Would Be Good

    Because of an overwhelming feeling of dread, you might find yourself avoiding doing things that you would enjoy or would be useful to you. For example:

    • Avoiding flying to go on holiday
    • Avoiding going out
    • Avoiding driving on motorways
    • Avoiding going to social occasions
    • Avoiding using the Internet

    Physical Symptoms That Get You Down

    There are some physical symptoms that seem to get worse with stress. Hypnotherapy cannot help you alleviate or cope with them better. For example:

    • Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
    • Difficulty sleeping
    • Migraines
    • Symptoms of peri-menopause or the monthly hormonal cycle

    How Can Hypnotherapy Help?

    Hypnotherapy is all about allowing the subconscious to shift its perspective towards a more positive future, a future where you are more in control and can lead a normal life.

    If you would like to talk to me about these or any other issues that hypnotherapy might help with, then Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online, and would be pleased to discuss (confidentially of course) your issues with you.

    Photo by Katrin Bolovtsova on Pexels

  • Motorway Driving Dread: Welcome to Amaxophobia

    Motorway Driving Dread: Welcome to Amaxophobia

    Does driving on motorways fill you with dread? Do you take an alternative route just to avoid those busy, multi-lane roads? Do you avoid travelling just because it would mean driving on a motorway? Welcome to Amaxophobia!

    How Common is Amaxophobia?

    A lot of people are nervous about driving, but around one in ten drivers are so anxious that doctors would diagnose Amaxophobia – a fear of driving in certain circumstances, such as motorway driving, or being a passenger while someone else is driving.

    Where Does Amaxophobia Come From?

    How is it that someone who has been driving happily for years gradually begins to develop massive anxiety about motorway driving? Or maybe they have never been comfortable with it. Where it comes from is different for everybody.

    For some, it arises from a specific incident, like an accident, that happened to them when driving. For others, it could just be a near miss that started the worry. For many, however, there is nothing specific that you can nail down to attribute to being the cause. It could be a combination of many things. It doesn’t really matter where it came from – what matters is how you get over it.

    How Do You Get Over Amaxophobia?

    It can be very inconvenient to be scared of motorway driving. You may have to drive on slower roads. You may have to be constantly giving excuses to friends or family as to why you can’t visit them. You may try to suck it up, go through the shear terror of it all, and arrive a nervous wreck.

    You can do something about it. Most doctors will send you off for some CBT sessions, but there are alternatives.

    I have helped quite a few people get over their fear of driving using hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is a way to access the subconscious fear that your brain creates. It is not a miracle cure where I just snap my fingers and you change. It takes time, as it is a complex phobia. This is particularly the case if it has been there for a long time.

    What Happens When the Fear of Driving is Gone?

    Once the fear of driving is gone, life opens up again. You are able to make those long trips without the worry about them. Some of my clients are very surprised; they tell me that it is an odd feeling when it is so easy to drive on motorways again.

    If you want help getting over that dread of driving on motorways, you might want to consider hypnotherapy. I work out of my office in Fleet, Hampshire as well as Online. You can Contact Me if you want to talk about the possibilities that hypnotherapy can offer.

    Further Reading

    What Is Amaxophobia? – Fear of Driving or Riding in a Car

    https://www.verywellmind.com/fear-of-being-a-passenger-2671535

    Why thousands of midlife women are too afraid to drive on the motorway

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/cars/features/midlife-women-amaxophobia-terrified-of-driving-motorway/

    Photo courtesy of Mike Bird on Pexels

  • Is Hypnotherapy Safe?

    Is Hypnotherapy Safe?

    Generally speaking, hypnotherapy is quite safe. It’s normally very relaxing and pleasant. In fact, clients tell me that the hypnosis part of a session is the bit they really look forward to.

    A hypnotherapist doesn’t make you do things you don’t want to do. They don’t make you do things … they suggest … they lead you … it’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to follow them.

    I practice solution-focused hypnotherapy, which doesn’t dig into your past, because I don’t care where your issues have come from. What I care about is where you’re going to. So I don’t ask you to re-live your past traumas, which might make you more stressed about them.

    There are a few exceptional times when I would consider it potentially unsafe to use hypnosis. So I wouldn’t hypnotise someone with psychosis or someone in the manic phase of bipolar disorder, for example, or someone who came to me drunk or high on drugs.

    When performed by a properly trained hypnotherapist, hypnotherapy is very safe … and it’s a pleasant way to help you sort out your issues.

    And Finally …

    If you want to see a hypnotherapist, you might like to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. I specialise in anxiety-related issues, but I am not limited to these.

    Photo by Alex Green on Pexels