Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Tag: hypnotherapy

  • Why I Don’t Ask My Clients About Their Problems

    Why I Don’t Ask My Clients About Their Problems

    When clients come to me, they do so because they have a problem. Usually, it is a problem involving anxiety. Maybe they worry about their children, their partner, their work, the cleanliness of their house, their health, driving on motorways … or anything else. Maybe they have anxiety about anything and everything. Or maybe they just wake up in the morning with a sense of dread for no particular reason …

    … and I don’t ask my clients to tell me all the intricacies of their problem, in fact, we often have a good laugh about other things.

    Problem-Focused Therapy

    In many types of therapy, the therapist will ask their client to talk about their problem – when it happens, where it came from, how bad it gets and so on. The analysis of the problem is a key part of the therapy.

    This problem-focused approach is the way that doctors treat patients. A few years ago I broke one of the bones in my finger. The doctor wanted to know how I did it (… a sporting injury), what sort of break it was (… an X-ray revealed it was a spiral break), and how much it hurt (… not much).

    Having established all that, they could work out what the best treatment was for me. The best treatment for me turned out to be a splint for my finger and, later on, physiotherapy to help get the full range of movement back into my finger. The splint and the physiotherapy allowed my body to heal the finger by itself – but it all started with an analysis of the problem.

    Solution-Focused Therapy

    When clients come to see me, I do not analyse their problems. I do not ask them where the problem came from or the situations where it is really bad. I ask them about solutions: What are their best hopes for when the problem goes away? What is it like when the problem isn’t there? As the problem eases off, what positive differences will they notice?

    When you worry about a problem, the limbic system (the primitive part of the brain that is concerned with survival) starts to raise the threat level. It assumes that whatever it is you are worried about may actually be just about to happen. So it starts to go into a fight-flight-or-freeze state and generates a lot of anxiety, just to make sure you are paying attention to the problem. In other words, it exacerbates the anxiety you already have.

    However, when you focus on the things that are going right, and what it will be like when it is all sorted out, that is when the healing process can start. It is like putting a splint on the broken bone and doing physiotherapy – it tells the brain how it should be behaving, and allows the natural processes to move you back onto the road to normality.

    Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy

    A solution-focused discussion allows the brain to imagine the anxiety-free state that you want to be in. Hypnosis puts you into a nice relaxed state where your brain can more easily make the changes it needs to make to get there. Solution-focused hypnotherapy is a very gentle and natural way to get back on track.

    If you want help getting over your anxiety, you might consider solution-focused hypnotherapy to help you. I usually see people between 5 and 10 sessions before they get to where they want to be. If you want to Contact Me, I would be happy to talk to you and answer any questions you might have. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

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  • When Your Head is Too Full

    When Your Head is Too Full

    I’ve just come back from a good walk in the woods nearby. My head was so full of stuff that it was buzzing round my brain. I found that I couldn’t settle and focus on one thing. I had a gap between clients so took the opportunity to clear my head a bit with a good walk.

    When my head is too full, I don’t try and resolve everything. There’s too much there to resolve. I just have to let it go. Walking round some beautiful woods is a great way to let it go. Of course, every now and then some of those thoughts would creep back in, so I just noticed they were there and let them go again.

    When I let the clutter in my head go, just taking in what is around me, it often happens that a resolution pops into my head. In the last 10 minutes of my walk, it suddenly occurred to me that there were two important things that needed doing, and all the other stuff didn’t really matter.

    Somehow my subconscious had resolved the head full of ideas that I had and given me the answer. I realise that this is a bit like hypnotherapy. When I take my clients into trance, it allows their subconscious to sort out the problems they have come to see me about.

    So if your head is too full of stuff, go for a walk and, as far as you can, just let it all go. You never know what might occur to you when you are detached from it all. If you still need help after that, you are welcome to Contact Me about the possibilities that hypnotherapy might offer you. I work out of my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

  • Morning Dread – Morning Anxiety

    Morning Dread – Morning Anxiety

    You wake up in the morning and feel a sense of dread – for no particular reason. If only you could step outside of yourself, even for a few moments, to analyse what is going on.

    Is it a fear of something that might happen that day? (… but it’s just a normal day.) Is it worry about something you messed up yesterday? (… but you didn’t mess anything up yesterday.) Is there something overwhelming that you have to achieve today? (… but, like I said, it’s just a normal day.)

    That sense of dread first thing in the morning (or at any time of day) that does not seem to relate to anything – that is a symptom of high levels of anxiety. A doctor might diagnose it as “Generalised Anxiety Disorder” (GAD). But giving it a diagnostic name might help you identify what it is, but it doesn’t take away the awful feeling that you are left with.

    Why We Get Anxiety Over Nothing In Particular

    When there is a build-up of stress, worry, regret, justified anger and so on, the subconscious recognises that something is wrong. The “stress bucket” becomes full. The subconscious does not know what is wrong, it just senses there is something wrong.

    So our subconscious starts to make us anxious. Why? Because anxiety makes us look out for things that might go wrong. When wake in the morning, our subconscious immediately makes us anxious so that we start looking out for the threats to our lives. Of course, there are no threats to our lives, but because of all the overload of stress, the depths of our brain reacts as if there is … just in case.

    The anxiety, of course, simply adds to the stress and makes the situation worse. We can get stuck in a seemingly never-ending life of waking up each morning feeling the anxiety that invades our minds and bodies.

    What To Do About Morning Anxiety

    As with any form of anxiety, there are (in broad terms) three general routes to follow. You can try one or more of these to help:

    1. Medication – go to your doctor, explain the symptoms and ask for medication to help.
    2. Self-help – look up “self care for anxiety” on Google and find a plethora of advice (see, for example, the advice from MIND listed below).
    3. Therapy – find a hypnotherapist, CBT specialist, counsellor or some other type of therapist who specialise in anxiety.

    Hypnotherapy for Anxiety

    I specialise in helping people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help that get back to their normal selves again. I would be happy to have a chat if you would like to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online.

    There are other hypnotherapists out there – and if you choose someone else, make sure they are properly qualified, follow good ethical practices and are fully insured. Check them out on the National Council for Hypnotherapy website or the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy website.

    References

    MIND advice on self-care for anxiety

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/self-care/

    Generalised Anxiety Disorder

    https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder-gad/

    National Council for Hypnotherapy

    https://www.hypnotherapists.org.uk/

    Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy

    https://www.afsfh.com/

    Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

  • Breaking Up is Hard To Do … and Also Anxiety-Inducing

    Breaking Up is Hard To Do … and Also Anxiety-Inducing

    Breaking up a relationship can be very stressful and can lead to anxiety. This is particularly true when your ex-partner was at fault, as it feels so unfair that they caused the break-up and now you are suffering because of what they did.

    The sudden changes in life that a breakup can create are stressful enough, but a toxic breakup can seem more than one can bear.

    • If your ex left you for someone else, you can feel rejected and it is a massive punch-in-the-guts to know that they chose someone else over you.
    • If your ex was gaslighting you, you might feel that you don’t really understand what actually happened
    • If your partner cheated on you and then asked to come back, you will probably sense alarm bells going off every time they even glance at anyone else.
    • If your ex is not being reasonable over the divorce settlement / separation agreement, you are likely to have a lot of anxiety not knowing how it will resolve itself.
    • If you and your ex have children, you are likely to be worried about how the breakup will effect them.

    The problem is that you are no longer entirely in control of the situation. Your partner or ex-partner controls part of the break-up and probably has a different idea of what they want out of it.

    It is a very hard situation to be in, but you should remember that you can only control what you can control. You will not get an ideal result in the end, and you will have to live with that. So look to what you can do with the situation you are in and (as far as you are able) put the past behind you. It’s time to create a new beginning.

    I see a lot of people suffering from anxiety after going through a messy breakup. I cannot patch up the relationship, but I can help people cope with the situation and move forward.

    If you are struggling getting through a rough time in your relationship and you cannot cope with it all on your own, you may like to consider hypnotherapy. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and would be happy to have a chat and let you know what I can do to help. You can Contact Me whenever you are ready to do so, and then take your time to decide whether you want to see me for hypnotherapy, cope on your own, or try something else.

    Photo by RDNE Stock Project on Pexels

  • The News-Anxiety Dilemma

    The News-Anxiety Dilemma

    The world is a scary place, and it can seem even scarier when you watch the news or read a newspaper. News can increase anxiety levels.

    Some of the people I see in my hypnotherapy clinic have simply stopped watching the News. They have realised that it just adds to their stress and so they have stopped. Others seem to watch the news several times a day, and it makes them very anxious.

    Anxiety often occurs when there is something we are aware of that might go wrong, but is out of our control, like waiting for the results of a job interview, wondering whether you are going to be sick during the Covid lockdowns, or staying up late waiting for your teenager to come home when they’ve gone out on their own for the first time.

    The News is a bit like that – something bad might happen that effects you and your family, and it is out of your control. The News can make you anxious.

    But many of us like to be informed about what is going on in the world. We like to keep in touch with the News – local, national and international. And of course, there is nothing wrong with doing that, provided we can control any additional stress that we might experience.

    It’s all about getting the right balance. Do you ignore the News, just read the headlines, or read everything in detail? It all depends on what you want, and how much it effects you.

    I see people in my hypnotherapy clinic every week who are struggling to cope with anxiety and stress. I help them get back in control of their lives. If you are interested in finding out what hypnotherapy can do for you, check out my website and Contact Me. I will be very happy to have a chat with you.

    Photo by Bhavesh Jain on Pexels

  • Social Anxiety Ruins Lives

    Social Anxiety Ruins Lives

    Social anxiety can ruin lives … Daisy walks down the street worrying about what the other people think of her. She worries that they think she is ugly. She worries that they might stop her and become angry. She worries that they look down on her. Daisy has only a few friends, and although she worries less about what they think, she still worries. Daisy doesn’t get out much.

    Now Daisy isn’t a real person, but her social anxiety is real in many people. They get anxious around others – maybe in crowds, or on the phone to strangers, or even just walking down the street. This is social anxiety – anxiety that is triggered by the presence of other people, particularly people they don’t know.

    Whether anxiety is triggered by other people or anything else, it is still anxiety. It is the primitive part of the brain starting to take over, trying to stop you doing something that might be dangerous. Of course, other people are not likely to be a threat, but that does not stop that primitive part of the brain reacting in the way it does.

    So if you have a bit of social anxiety, remember that the other people around you are not judging you. They are not going to stop you and get angry. They probably don’t even notice you as you pass them by on the street.

    If you have difficulty in getting over social anxiety on your own, you might consider hypnotherapy. I help people with all types of anxiety using hypnotherapy, helping them get back in control of their lives and feel normal again. You can Contact Me if you want a chat about how I can help.

    Photo courtesy of Keira Burton on Pexels