Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Tag: hypnotherapy

  • Breaking the “What If” Worry Cycle

    Breaking the “What If” Worry Cycle

    The “What If” worry cycle is an anxiety-related problem that most people will have experienced at sometime in their lives. It starts with worrying about something going wrong, and the consequences of what happens next. It is a constant cycle of asking ourselves, “… and then what if …”. This is known as “catastrophising”.

    Alison’s Story

    Alison arrived home from work one day, sat down, and tried to calm down the stream of thoughts going through her head. As she had left work, her boss had looked towards her in a strange way, and he had not said, “See you tomorrow” as he usually did …

    Maybe she had done something wrong … She’d soon know if he asked her to see him tomorrow … Or maybe he was just noting it down to confront her with it at a later date … She tried to think of what she had done that day that might have been wrong … What if she was sacked? … What if she couldn’t find another job? … The rent would go overdue and she’d be kicked out … Maybe Joan would let her sleep on her sofa … But she couldn’t stay there forever …

    After a sleepless night, Alison arrived at work the next day, only to find that her boss had been so preoccupied with something else, he had not even see her leave work.

    Other Examples of the Worry Cycle

    • If I fail my exams, I won’t get the job I want, then my life will be ruined.
    • This spot on my arm could turn out to be cancer – I might die and what would my kids do then?
    • My teenager is not back from the party she went to. What if she has had her drink spiked? Maybe she is lying unconscious on the street somewhere.
    • My partner’s not answering his phone. What if he’s with another woman? Maybe it’s my sister.
    • Why have a got an ache in my chest? Is there something wrong with my heart? Could this be the build up to a heart attack?

    Catastrophising

    The pattern of thinking where we anticipate something bad happening to us, and then anticipate something worse that could happen as a consequence, and then something worse that that, and so on – this is called “catastrophising”. Some people seem to learn how to think catastrophically and catastrophise about something almost every day.

    Catastrophising is a threat to our mental health. Every time we go through the process of catastrophic thinking, we add more stress to our lives, which in turn increases the activity of the amygdala – the fight or flight centre of our brain. This is like pouring fuel on the fire of other problems we might have:

    • People who already have poor mental health – such as anxiety, OCD or depression – may find their symptoms becoming worse when they catastrophise.
    • Some people live with chronic pain, caused by arthritis, fibromyalgia and the like. If they catastrophise they will often find that their pain become worse.

    When is Worrying a Problem?

    Most people have worries about the future, at least on occasions. Worrying about the future is not an issue, provided that it is kept under control. If we anticipate what might go wrong, we might be able to do something about it, or prepare for it.

    • If you worry about failing your exams – you can study for them.
    • If you worry about the spot on your arm or the pain in your chest – you can get a doctor to check you out.
    • If you worry about your daughter not coming home on time – you can phone up and check what’s going on.
    • If you are worried that your partner is not answering the phone, you can ask them why they didn’t answer when you see them next.

    Of course, there are some things that people worry about that they can’t do anything about. They might worry about the dreadful things reported on the news. They might worry about the results of a medical test that they are not going to hear about until next week. These are wasted worries. If you cannot do anything about it, then worrying about it will not change the outcome.

    Worrying only becomes a problem when it becomes our default way of thinking. If we are constantly worrying or catastrophising, then it impacts our mental and physical health. This is when we need to do something about it.

    What Can We Do About It?

    The last step is to turn it around. Ask yourself what will happen if everything goes right – what if you do pass the exam? What if that spot just turns out to be a benign mole? What if your partner simply forgot to turn their phone on?

    The first step is to recognise that we are catastrophising. Ask yourself if these sort of “what if … what if” worry-cycle thoughts go through your head quite often.

    Next, see how good you are at catching yourself doing it. You might start by just noting that you have had some catastrophising thoughts – but only after you have had them. Eventually, you will find that you can spot them mid-flow; you will realise that the same cycle of thinking of worse and worse scenarios is actually happening while you are doing it.

    Once you can spot the cycle, while it is happening, don’t beat yourself up about it, just tell yourself, “That’s interesting, I am doing it again.”

    Gradually, over a period of time, the cycle of catastrophising will lessen. Don’t be disappointed if it takes a while. You need patience. You are retraining your brain to think in a different way. If you are the worrying kind, your brain will be very experienced and very quick to worry. So practice, practice practice. Eventually, it will calm down and you will be able to get on with life as normal without the constant cycle of worry in your mind.

    Getting Therapy

    If you find you cannot manage to calm down the worry cycle on your own, you may want to seek help from a therapist. There are a lot of types of therapy available to help, among which are CBT and hypnotherapy.

    I help worriers as well as those with other forms of anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get back to their normal, calmer selves. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. Do Contact Me if you want to have a chat.

    References

    Other articles that may be of interest include:

    Catastrophising: How toxic thinking leads you down dark paths

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/worklife/article/20220725-catastrophising-how-toxic-thinking-can-lead-down-dark-path

    Catastrophizing: What You Need to Know to Stop Worrying

    https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/catastrophizing

    How to stop catastrophizing

    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320844

    Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels

  • Not Knowing What’s Round the Corner: A Source of Anxiety

    Not Knowing What’s Round the Corner: A Source of Anxiety

    It’s a problem I hear again and again in my hypnotherapy clinic. It comes in a variety of forms, but it is always the same basic structure. “My future is uncertain, and that stresses me out.” The future my clients talk about could be a failing relationship, potential redundancy from their job, or simply the world situation – which is far from certain at the moment. They do not know what is coming round the corner.

    It is a natural human reaction – to be stressed by uncertainty. When you don’t know what’s coming, you don’t know how to prepare. When the future is uncertain, you cannot be sure if you will be better off or if something will go drastically wrong. Our brains are often tuned to anticipate the worst case scenario, and so we become stressed and anxious.

    What goes on in our brains is then a bit of a vicious circle. We get anxious about the future, so we think of all the things that could go wrong, and that makes us more stressed, and so on.

    Of course, we could choose to ignore the uncertain future and carry on as if life were normal. But we must be careful not to kid ourselves. If there is a chance that something could go wrong, we need to take reasonable steps to prepare for it. We can think about what could go wrong, but we shouldn’t dwell on it.

    Five Things to Remember

    If the future is uncertain, if you don’t know what is round the next corner:

    1. Anticipate what could go wrong.
    2. If there is something you can do to prepare – do it.
    3. If you find yourself thinking about things you cannot do anything about – put those thoughts aside.
    4. Once you have prepared as best you reasonably can, put all thoughts of disaster aside and enjoy what is going on in your life right now.
    5. Remember that you have already coped with a lot of unexpected things in your life up until now – and you have the capacity to do it again.

    And Finally …

    I help people who are struggling to cope with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get their lives back in order again and able to cope with the uncertainties of the world. If you would like to Contact Me, I would be happy to have a chat, and if you are interested, book you in for hypnotherapy either at my clinic here in Fleet, Hampshire or online.

    Photo by Adrian “Rosco” Stef on Unsplash

  • Are You Scared of Being Sick?

    Are You Scared of Being Sick?

    There are those who are just scared of becoming ill – whether this is an anxiety about coming down with something, or just being anxious about throwing up. It is not as uncommon as you might think. For some, this worry dominates their lives, especially if they have young children.

    When someone’s mind is filled with worry about becoming ill, it can become all-consuming. They don’t want to mix with others in case they catch something; they are always hyper-sensitive to every little cough or sneeze. It can dominate their lives, and this can lead to a miserable life for themselves and their family.

    Of course, it is quite natural to be wary about disease. It is unpleasant to be ill – we can’t get on with our lives, we get bored staying in bed, and it is generally an uncomfortable experience. Fortunately, our bodies are very resilient and we are usually able to get over most diseases given time.

    But some people are so anxious about picking up a bug that it almost overwhelms them. Maybe their parents were over-wary about “germs”; maybe they had a particularly bad experience in their past; or maybe they simply watched the constant reminders about Covid during one of the lockdowns. It doesn’t matter where the anxiety came from – if it is dominating your life you need to do something about it.

    One of the common consequences of this is a fear of vomiting (or someone close to them vomiting). This is particularly difficult for parents, as they have to deal with the aftermath of their children throwing up. For some, the anxiety of vomit is completely overwhelming. Fear of vomiting is so common, that it has a name – Emetophobia.

    If health anxiety or emetophobia is spoiling your life, you need to do something about it. There are a variety of psychological ways to help. Your doctor will likely suggest CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). For myself, I prefer the hypnotherapy approach.

    If you would like to experience hypnotherapy for yourself, for health anxiety, emetophobia or another issue, you might like to consider Contacting Me. I offer hypnotherapy services from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Useful References

    Health Anxiety

    https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/health-anxiety

    https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/health-anxiety-what-it-and-how-beat-it

    Emetophobia

    Emetophobia

    Photo by Diva Plavalaguna on Pexels

  • The Difficulty of Having a Laugh When Anxiety Strikes

    The Difficulty of Having a Laugh When Anxiety Strikes

    When anxiety strikes, it is sometimes difficult to imagine a positive future, and yet that is what I ask my clients to consider. It is hard to have a smile, have a laugh, and enjoy each moment. And yet it is possible to get there.

    Anxiety is a natural response to threats. In a dangerous world, our survival instinct clocks in. If there is potential danger nearby, that instinct makes us anxious, and the anxiety makes us look out for the danger. When anxiety strikes, we start focusing on all the things that might go wrong.

    Focusing on things that can go wrong in times of danger is part of our survival instinct. It is this instinct that kept our ancestors safe when the world was a more dangerous place. In most of the world, there are few life-threatening dangers these days, and yet our survival instinct still activates.

    Our survival instinct is only concerned with keeping us alive; it does not care how we feel. It does not care that being filled with anxiety is not a nice place to be. It does not understand that, in this modern world, being filled with anxiety severely hampers what we are able to achieve.

    So I ask my clients not to focus on the things that could go wrong in their lives; I ask them to focus on what life will be like when it all goes right. I ask them to focus on enjoying life. If you suffer from anxiety, you will realise how hard this is to do. That is why hypnotherapy is so useful in helping to break the vicious cycle of anxiety and worry.

    If you can, when anxiety strikes, focus your mind on what you can enjoy in that very moment, and also what a successful future would look like.

    And Finally …

    If you have difficulty in managing your anxiety by yourself, you might like to Contact Me. I help people with anxiety by using hypnotherapy to break the anxiety vicious cycle. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online.

    Photo courtesy of Nicola Crichton at the Mental Health Foundation

  • Anxiety is Like a Game of Jenga

    Anxiety is Like a Game of Jenga

    A life of anxiety is like a game of Jenga – you are only in control of half the things that are going on, and you never know when things might go wrong. Step by step, you have to make your move changing the position of something in your life, while someone else is making moves that you cannot control. And all the time there is a sense of jeopardy as you never know if your life will collapse in front of you.

    Of course, although our lives might seem like jeopardy, things very rarely go wrong to the extent that our lives are completely ruined. Most people have survived major changes to their lives, some brought on by themselves, but mostly brought on by external circumstances. We are a very resilient species and able to cope with a lot.

    Whereas a game of Jenga gives us a sense of excitement, never quite knowing when the tower is going to fall, uncertainty in life gives rise to anxiety. The stakes are higher in the game of life; we cannot rebuild the Jenga tower and start again. When things go wrong, we have to cope.

    Sometimes, it seems like there is so much that is going wrong, that the anxiety become overwhelming. This is the time many people seek out help. In truth, it would be better if they had sought help before it got that bad.

    Help comes in many forms, and these can be divided into three main categories:

    1. Self Help – There are plenty of things you can do for yourself that will improve things – exercise, eating less junk food, getting enough sleep, making time to give our brains a rest and so on.
    2. Medication – There are plenty of drugs that can be prescribed that can make an anxiety-filled life more tolerable.
    3. Therapy – There are plenty of therapists from different disciplines that can help.

    I would always recommend self-help first, but if you need help beyond that, my natural tendency is to head for hypnotherapy. Of course, that is what I do, so I would say that … but I have seen so many people get back in control of their anxiety-ridden lives through hypnotherapy that it comes at the top of my list.

    And Finally …

    If you want the help of a hypnotherapist, please consider me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire, as well as online. I specialise in helping people with anxiety-related issues. If you want to Contact Me, I would be very happy to have a chat and answer your questions.

    Photo courtesy of Emily Fullerton at the Mental health Foundation

  • Unbelievable Changes: The Wonder of Hypnotherapy

    Unbelievable Changes: The Wonder of Hypnotherapy

    It always seems unbelievable. This person used to panic at the thought of speaking in front of an audience … they had frozen, unable to speak, when faced with delivering a talk that they had already rehearsed many times. And after a few sessions of hypnotherapy, they were able to stand up and fluently give a presentation to an audience of several hundred … and they actually enjoyed the experience.

    This is the sort of transformation that I see in my clinic over and over again. It may be anxiety about giving a talk, about going on a plane, about changing jobs, about driving on a motorway. Or it could be worry about things going wrong, or lack of confidence in themselves. Or it could be so ingrained that they get anxious as soon as they wake up – even though it is just another ordinary day.

    It seems like a miracle that people can change so quickly.

    But think about it. If you break your leg, doctors can set your leg with splint or a plaster cast and after a few weeks, the leg will miraculously heal itself. When you allow your body to be handled by skilled physicians, that same body will heal itself. This seems like miracle too.

    Your brain is simply a part of your body. Allowing a hypnotherapist to put your brain into the right state can allow the brain to heal itself. When I see my clients, that is all I do. I simply guide them into the right state of mind that allows the brain to heal itself.

    I will never stop being amazed at how incredible changes can happen over a few short weeks.

    And Finally …

    I help people for whom anxiety is controlling their lives. If you are struggling with anxiety, in any one of its many forms, you can do something about it. Hypnotherapy is not the only answer, but if you would like to experience hypnotherapy, you can Contact Me and I will be happy to talk to you about it. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Photo by Henri Mathieu-Saint-Laurent