I used to commute into London every weekday, travelling in on a packed 12-carriage train. I would follow the crowds of people flooding off the train, out into the streets or down into the underground. I would watch the people as they scurried on to their places of work, each one an individual, each one with their own personality, their own goals in life, their own problems too.
I think back to those days and now wonder: How many of those people suffer from anxiety?
So I looked up the statistics. A packed 12-carriage train can take about 1750 passengers. Then I checked the rates of anxiety in the UK. And finally, I calculated that on just one of the many trains travelling into London each day:
350 people will have felt anxious most or all of the time in the last two weeks
105 people are suffering from diagnosable generalised anxiety disorder
70 people have had a trauma in their lives sufficient to give them PTSD
And that is just one one train. I then went on to think of all the other trains travelling into London or any other city in the world, or all the people in my town, or in the country. There are so many people who have anxiety that impacts their lives, so many people whose lives could be changed for the better if only they could get it under control.
… And they could get their anxiety under control …
They could work to getting a normal life back again. There are many people who have managed to overcome their anxiety and feel normal again. And yet, so many of them either don’t realise they can do something about it, or they give up at the first hurdle.
Hypnotherapy is just one of the methods they could use to help them on the path back to normality. It is not the only thing they could use – they could try medication, other forms of talking therapy or there are a lot of things they can do for themselves like improving their diet or doing more exercise.
You are welcome to explore any of these means of returning your life to normal. However, if you want to give hypnotherapy a try, you can Contact Me and I would be pleased to talk to you about it.
Some people develop a phobia following a traumatic event – usually a phobia of something around the circumstances of that event. It then becomes a struggle to walk away from it.
Follow this link to read my full article on the topic.
If you have a phobia, or any other form of anxiety, please Contact Me for a chat to explore what hypnotherapy can do to help. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.
Have you ever wondered if hypnotherapy will work for you? People often ask me about their doubts:
What if I can’t be hypnotised?
I don’t know if hypnotherapy can help with my sort of problem.
I have had this problem for years. Maybe it’s too deeply embedded.
Can you guarantee to fix me?
In this article, I will examine answers to these questions.
Can Everyone Be Hypnotised?
Have you ever had one of those occasions when someone is talking to you and you stop listening to what they are saying – maybe you have a bit of a daydream? Do you remember a time, maybe during a boring lesson at school, where you found yourself just staring out of the window looking at nothing in particular? Have you ever got so engrossed in reading book that you completely loose track of time?
These are all times when you have automatically gone into a trance. Trance happens when we loose track of what is going on around us. We may be thinking of something, or simply relaxing our minds. We are all capable of doing it. Hypnosis is about guiding someone into that state to help them solve their own problems.
So the answer is “yes” – everyone can be hypnotised.
Can Hypnotherapy Help with “My” Problem?
It is surprising what sorts of issues people come to me for help with. If you have a problem with not being properly in charge of your feelings, your thoughts or what you do, then hypnotherapy can help. (With the obvious caveat that hypnotherapy can only help the mental side of things. For example, if you are uncomfortable being very short, then hypnotherapy cannot make you taller – but it can help you with being happier and more confident about being short.)
When you don’t feel in charge of your feelings – maybe you are anxious, stressed and tense, or maybe you feel depressed, angry, jealous or afraid
When you don’t feel in charge of your thoughts – maybe you ruminate about things that have happened to you in the past, worry about the future, worry about what other people are thinking about you and so on
When you don’t feel in charge of your actions – you know you shouldn’t smoke or drink as much but you do, maybe you unconsciously bite your nails or pick your skin, or perhaps you feel compelled to check the house is locked up even when you have just locked it.
So the answer is probably “yes” – provided that it is not a physical issue.
Can Hypnotherapy Help With Problems That You Have Had For Years?
There is an old, but incorrect saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” We tend to believe that if we have had a problem for years, then it is part of us – that is the way we are – we just have to put up with it. WRONG!!
Some behaviour or feeling may be well-ingrained, but that does not mean it cannot change. It may take a little longer, but it can change.
So the answer is “yes”.
Can Hypnotherapy Guarantee That I Can Change?
The human brain is not like a car. A hypnotherapist cannot change a part that has gone wrong. What a hypnotherapist can do is to lead you into a state where the brain can sort itself out by itself.
Does this guarantee success? I’m afraid not. A hypnotherapist can lead you, but cannot force you to do something that you really don’t want to do. In my early days as a hypnotherapist, I soon learnt that if someone comes to me just because their partner asked them to, it does not work. They have to want to change. They have to realise that there is a better state that they could be in.
So although the majority of my clients come out with a successful change to their lives, the answer is “No”, hypnotherapy cannot guarantee a change.
And Finally …
I use hypnotherapy to help all sorts of people get over with all sorts of issues. I specialise in anxiety-related issues, but this is not all I deal with. If you would like to Contact Me, I would be very happy to have a few minutes chat to see if I can help. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as seeing people online.
Are you visited by periods of anxiety? Or maybe you suffer from anxiety most of the time? Here is a little psychological trick that may just help. It’s a way of fooling those negative emotions into separating themselves from the rest of you.
Winston Churchill’s Story
Winston Churchill, the British Prime Minister who led the United Kingdom through most of the second World War, had mental health issues. What those issues were is the subject of debate among historians. Views range from mild depression and anxiety to bi-polar disorder. What we do know is that there were times when it affected him more than others.
Churchill developed ways of coping with these mental health issues. One of these was to tell himself, “We must just keep buggering on.” Another way of dealing with it was to name the dark moods he had. He called them the “Black Dog”. His daughter explained that the Black Dog was usually kenneled – but came out to visit sometimes.
Naming the dark emotions he had was one way that Churchill had of coping with them.
How to Name a Negative Emotion
When anxiety strikes or depression overwhelms you, ask yourself, “If this emotion were to have a name, what would it be?” I am not talking about the clinical name, like “Generalised Anxiety Disorder” or “Emetophobia”. Give it your own personal nickname, like “The Worry Monster” or “The Blue Meanie”.
Having got a name for it, use that name when you talk to others about your mood, or for you own self-talk. Remind yourself that what that you have just named is not you – it is just visiting.
How Does Naming a Negative Emotion Help?
Naming a negative emotion is a psychological trick that you can play on the primitive part of your brain that is generating all those negative emotions. By naming an emotion, it externalises it. That is, it helps you start to think of that emotion, not as part of you, but as a separate entity.
For some people, naming the emotion might not get rid of it, but it makes it easier to cope with. For others, they may find that it visits less and less frequently and with less power each time it visits.
And Finally …
If you are struggling to cope with anxiety or anything related, you might want to give hypnotherapy a try. It is not the only solution, but if you want to give it a go, you are welcome to see me in my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire or online. Contact Me if you would like a chat.
The “What If” worry cycle is an anxiety-related problem that most people will have experienced at sometime in their lives. It starts with worrying about something going wrong, and the consequences of what happens next. It is a constant cycle of asking ourselves, “… and then what if …”. This is known as “catastrophising”.
Alison’s Story
Alison arrived home from work one day, sat down, and tried to calm down the stream of thoughts going through her head. As she had left work, her boss had looked towards her in a strange way, and he had not said, “See you tomorrow” as he usually did …
Maybe she had done something wrong … She’d soon know if he asked her to see him tomorrow … Or maybe he was just noting it down to confront her with it at a later date … She tried to think of what she had done that day that might have been wrong … What if she was sacked? … What if she couldn’t find another job? … The rent would go overdue and she’d be kicked out … Maybe Joan would let her sleep on her sofa … But she couldn’t stay there forever …
After a sleepless night, Alison arrived at work the next day, only to find that her boss had been so preoccupied with something else, he had not even see her leave work.
Other Examples of the Worry Cycle
If I fail my exams, I won’t get the job I want, then my life will be ruined.
This spot on my arm could turn out to be cancer – I might die and what would my kids do then?
My teenager is not back from the party she went to. What if she has had her drink spiked? Maybe she is lying unconscious on the street somewhere.
My partner’s not answering his phone. What if he’s with another woman? Maybe it’s my sister.
Why have a got an ache in my chest? Is there something wrong with my heart? Could this be the build up to a heart attack?
Catastrophising
The pattern of thinking where we anticipate something bad happening to us, and then anticipate something worse that could happen as a consequence, and then something worse that that, and so on – this is called “catastrophising”. Some people seem to learn how to think catastrophically and catastrophise about something almost every day.
Catastrophising is a threat to our mental health. Every time we go through the process of catastrophic thinking, we add more stress to our lives, which in turn increases the activity of the amygdala – the fight or flight centre of our brain. This is like pouring fuel on the fire of other problems we might have:
People who already have poor mental health – such as anxiety, OCD or depression – may find their symptoms becoming worse when they catastrophise.
Some people live with chronic pain, caused by arthritis, fibromyalgia and the like. If they catastrophise they will often find that their pain become worse.
When is Worrying a Problem?
Most people have worries about the future, at least on occasions. Worrying about the future is not an issue, provided that it is kept under control. If we anticipate what might go wrong, we might be able to do something about it, or prepare for it.
If you worry about failing your exams – you can study for them.
If you worry about the spot on your arm or the pain in your chest – you can get a doctor to check you out.
If you worry about your daughter not coming home on time – you can phone up and check what’s going on.
If you are worried that your partner is not answering the phone, you can ask them why they didn’t answer when you see them next.
Of course, there are some things that people worry about that they can’t do anything about. They might worry about the dreadful things reported on the news. They might worry about the results of a medical test that they are not going to hear about until next week. These are wasted worries. If you cannot do anything about it, then worrying about it will not change the outcome.
Worrying only becomes a problem when it becomes our default way of thinking. If we are constantly worrying or catastrophising, then it impacts our mental and physical health. This is when we need to do something about it.
What Can We Do About It?
The last step is to turn it around. Ask yourself what will happen if everything goes right – what if you do pass the exam? What if that spot just turns out to be a benign mole? What if your partner simply forgot to turn their phone on?
The first step is to recognise that we are catastrophising. Ask yourself if these sort of “what if … what if” worry-cycle thoughts go through your head quite often.
Next, see how good you are at catching yourself doing it. You might start by just noting that you have had some catastrophising thoughts – but only after you have had them. Eventually, you will find that you can spot them mid-flow; you will realise that the same cycle of thinking of worse and worse scenarios is actually happening while you are doing it.
Once you can spot the cycle, while it is happening, don’t beat yourself up about it, just tell yourself, “That’s interesting, I am doing it again.”
Gradually, over a period of time, the cycle of catastrophising will lessen. Don’t be disappointed if it takes a while. You need patience. You are retraining your brain to think in a different way. If you are the worrying kind, your brain will be very experienced and very quick to worry. So practice, practice practice. Eventually, it will calm down and you will be able to get on with life as normal without the constant cycle of worry in your mind.
Getting Therapy
If you find you cannot manage to calm down the worry cycle on your own, you may want to seek help from a therapist. There are a lot of types of therapy available to help, among which are CBT and hypnotherapy.
I help worriers as well as those with other forms of anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get back to their normal, calmer selves. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. Do Contact Me if you want to have a chat.
References
Other articles that may be of interest include:
Catastrophising: How toxic thinking leads you down dark paths
It’s a problem I hear again and again in my hypnotherapy clinic. It comes in a variety of forms, but it is always the same basic structure. “My future is uncertain, and that stresses me out.” The future my clients talk about could be a failing relationship, potential redundancy from their job, or simply the world situation – which is far from certain at the moment. They do not know what is coming round the corner.
It is a natural human reaction – to be stressed by uncertainty. When you don’t know what’s coming, you don’t know how to prepare. When the future is uncertain, you cannot be sure if you will be better off or if something will go drastically wrong. Our brains are often tuned to anticipate the worst case scenario, and so we become stressed and anxious.
What goes on in our brains is then a bit of a vicious circle. We get anxious about the future, so we think of all the things that could go wrong, and that makes us more stressed, and so on.
Of course, we could choose to ignore the uncertain future and carry on as if life were normal. But we must be careful not to kid ourselves. If there is a chance that something could go wrong, we need to take reasonable steps to prepare for it. We can think about what could go wrong, but we shouldn’t dwell on it.
Five Things to Remember
If the future is uncertain, if you don’t know what is round the next corner:
Anticipate what could go wrong.
If there is something you can do to prepare – do it.
If you find yourself thinking about things you cannot do anything about – put those thoughts aside.
Once you have prepared as best you reasonably can, put all thoughts of disaster aside and enjoy what is going on in your life right now.
Remember that you have already coped with a lot of unexpected things in your life up until now – and you have the capacity to do it again.
And Finally …
I help people who are struggling to cope with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get their lives back in order again and able to cope with the uncertainties of the world. If you would like to Contact Me, I would be happy to have a chat, and if you are interested, book you in for hypnotherapy either at my clinic here in Fleet, Hampshire or online.
