Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Tag: #stress

  • Turning Fake Smiles Genuine

    Turning Fake Smiles Genuine

    You may not think it, but it is possible to smile (with a genuine smile) through tough times. My clients come to my hypnotherapy clinic, because they are overwhelmed with stress or anxiety. It might be work, family life or something else that causes them to feel that they can almost cope, but not quite.

    Their thoughts are overwhelmed with worry, rage, feeling that they are not worth it, or just simply with the amount of stuff they have to do. The clients that come through my door are not smiling – except those that are putting on a smile as a sort of mask to protect themselves from the world.

    So many people hide behind a mask. They put on a fake happy face so that no-one will know their true feelings. No-one will know just how bad they feel. It’s a sort of lie, and sometimes they even lie to themselves, telling themselves that they are okay, even when they are not.

    One of the great joys of my job is to see my clients leave with a genuine smile on their face (and, believe me, I am very good at telling the difference!) It may take a few weeks, but seeing them walk out of my clinic for the last time back in control of themselves is a genuine pleasure.

    Hypnotherapy is not magic. I cannot just click my fingers and make people change. I just soften my client’s subconscious a bit, so that they are able to make the changes that they want for themselves.

    If you would like to be able to cope when you feel overwhelmed, to find that you can put on a genuine smile when things get tough, you might want to give hypnotherapy a try. Contact Me at my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire (I also work online) and I will be happy to have a chat with you.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Luwi Masumba

  • Hypnotherapy versus Anxiety

    Hypnotherapy versus Anxiety

    Hypnotherapy is not the only way to tackle anxiety; however, it is certainly an effective one. Other ways to combat this intrusive emotion are medication, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and self-help – but I am a hypnotherapist, so today I want to discuss the use of hypnotherapy.

    What a Hypnotherapist Can and Cannot Do

    Hypnotherapists are not magicians. They cannot make calmness appear like a rabbit out of a hat. They cannot make the anxiety disappear in a puff of smoke and then reappear on the other side of the stage dressed up as tranquility and peace. Hypnotherapists cannot make people change (especially if they don’t really want to).

    What hypnotherapists can do is to help the subconscious understand that being calm, peaceful and … let’s call it normal … is quite safe.

    The Anxiety Vicious Circle

    Anxiety is simply a reaction that the more primitive part of the brain has when it detects signs that the world might not be safe. It draws you attention to everything that might go wrong. It is a survival mechanism that is trying to make you be aware of what could endanger your life.

    The part of your brain that does this is very primitive. It is optimised to work in a world that is a lot more hazardous than the one we live in today (at least in most parts of the world). It does not care how you feel, it just cares about keeping you alive … and so it draws your attention to everything that might go wrong and makes you anxious.

    And of course, drawing your attention to things that might go wrong has the effect of making you even more nervous and stressed. That primitive part of your brain reacts to the stress and assumes that you are stressed because of something dangerous, and so repeats the pattern.

    And so the anxiety vicious circle builds.

    How Hypnotherapy Tackles Anxiety

    A hypnotherapist’s job is to help you break that vicious cycle. Through a process of discussion and hypnosis, the hypnotherapist leads their client into a thought pattern outside of the vicious circle. The client’s brain starts to build new pathways that do not follow the same route round and round that created the anxiety in the first place.

    Once these new neural pathways start to form, quite gradually, the client will find themselves able to take control of their thoughts and feelings. It does not happen immediately. Over a series of sessions, the client will gradually notice the changes.

    Typically, I see clients for around 5 to 10 weeks before they get themselves back into a position where they feel normal again. (Caveat – there are no guarantees of success in this timescale – it’s just what I normally expect to happen.)

    And Finally …

    Hypnotherapy is not the only way to tackle anxiety, you may want to try other methods as well. However, if you do want to experience the changes that hypnotherapy can help with, you can Contact Me. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

    Photo by Ann Danilina on Unsplash

  • Busy or Simply Overwhelmed? Find Time to Allow Your Mind Some Downtime

    Busy or Simply Overwhelmed? Find Time to Allow Your Mind Some Downtime

    These last few weeks have been a busy time for me. I get up in the morning and think of the things I need to do, and then realise that I didn’t do everything that I meant to do yesterday. Each morning, as I start to plan the day, I feel that there is a level of stress and tension in my body. As a professional who works in the area of stress and anxiety, I know that this stress is necessary in order to keep me motivated to get things done, but if I allow it to run free, it will lead to anxiety.

    A bit of stress gets you to focus on the tasks you need to do. If there is too much stress, the overwhelming feeling prevents you from focusing on the tasks as you mind is distracted by being overwhelmed. The trick is to get the balance right.

    Another problem with having too much to do is that you don’t spend time looking after yourself. You need to spend some time each day in self-care – you need to have some sort of mental health hygiene built into your daily routine. Everyone (well, almost everyone) manages to clean their teeth each day as part of their dental health hygiene regime – a sensible person will not skip cleaning their teeth just because they are busy. So what is your mental health hygiene regime?

    For me, I sit down each morning with a cup of tea and read a page or two from something that inspires me. I have trained myself over the years to focus entirely on what I am reading, and to put aside any other thoughts during this time. I spend a few minutes in quiet contemplation of what I have read. This is only interrupted as my thoughts turn to the warmth of the cup in my hands as I take another sip of tea.

    These few minutes of quietness and contemplation are what I need to start the day with a clear head. Other people take on different practices to allow their head to be clear – going for a walk, doing craftwork or art, lifting weights in the gym, meditation, listening to music … anything really – so long as it clears the mind of all the stuff that is usually there, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

    Our minds need time to rest from what they usually think about. This is particularly needed if you suffer from anxiety. Anxiety tends to absorb your mind and produce negative feelings. Giving it a break from all that – even if it’s just for a few minutes – will to you the world of good.

    So find something that you enjoy. You may not be able to dissociate from negative thoughts and feelings immediately, but the mind is like a muscle – you need to exercise it in the right way in order for it to develop.

    And Finally …

    If you have difficulty with your stress and anxiety, if you feel you cannot manage to control it by yourself, then you may like to seek professional help. I help people with anxiety by using hypnotherapy to allow them to regain control of their mind and return to normal. If you want to ask questions about it, Contact Me and I will be happy to have a chat.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Peter Cooper

  • Anxiety, Lifestyle and the Choices We Make

    Anxiety, Lifestyle and the Choices We Make

    Our lifestyle choices will have a direct bearing on the levels of stress and anxiety that we experience. There are some anxiety-triggers that happen in our lives over which we have no control, but I want to discuss today how our lifestyle choices impact our levels of anxiety.

    Arts and Crafts

    Involving yourself in some creative activity – making music, pottery, painting, photography … or any of the creative arts and crafts will calm levels of anxiety. Engaging the creative part of the brain focuses attention away from your stress bucket and allows your subconscious to process some of that stress, outside of your consciousness.

    Exercise

    We all know that exercise is good at keeping our bodies in good shape, but it also helps keep our minds well balanced. Our ancestors spent a lot more time moving their bodies, and so our brains are built to expect the chemicals that come with a lot of movement. When we lead a sedentary life, the brain chemistry suffers.

    Healthy Diet

    The way your gut works has a direct impact on the levels of stress and anxiety that you suffer from. Choosing a diet that contains a wide variety of plants and reduces the amount of ultra-processed foods seems to be the way to go.

    A Good Night’s Sleep

    Sleep is the time that our brain gets to process all that stress we are under, so getting a good night’s sleep will diminish the content of that stress bucket that we all carry with us. It largely happens when we are dreaming – our memories of stressful events and anticipated stresses that might happen in the future are consolidated. Some are thrown out and we will never remember them again; others are simply calmed down a bit.

    And the Proof?

    This is not simply wishful thinking. There is scientific evidence that supports these lifestyle choices and links them to a change in anxiety levels (see references below).

    And Finally …

    If you find difficulty controlling your levels of anxiety and would like some help, please Contact Me. I use hypnotherapy to help my clients get back in control of their lives. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire, as well as online.

    References

    Pathways linking organ and brain health, and impacts to mental health revealed
    https://mdhs.unimelb.edu.au/news-and-events/pathways-linking-organ-and-brain-health,-and-impacts-to-mental-health-revealed/_recache

    Arts and crafts boost mental wellbeing – study
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2yr0d3m1no

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Steve Somerset

  • Overthinking, Anxiety & Table Tennis

    Overthinking, Anxiety & Table Tennis

    Overthinking is both a cause and a result of anxiety. We overthink things we are anxious about, and that overthinking creates more anxiety. You want to know how table tennis is involved? … Then read on.

    Overthinking means being caught in that state of mind where you are going over and over the same thing in your head. Maybe something happened that you did not like, and you go through what happened time after time, trying somehow to square it all away. Or maybe you are concerned about something that is coming up, and think about what might happen over and over again. This is overthinking.

    What Is Wrong With Overthinking?

    The problem with overthinking is that no matter how many times you go over something that has already happened – you cannot change it. It is gone … learn from it and then move one. Thinking about it again and again will not change what happened and will not change how you think about it.

    If you are overthinking something that is coming up – something you are worried about – it does not change the fact that it is going to happen. Worrying about a work meeting, say, doesn’t stop the meeting happening – it just gets you more stressed about it.

    How Does Overthinking Effect the Brain?

    All the overthinking adds stress to your “stress bucket” – and more stress means that the fight-or-flight centre (the amygdala and other parts of the brain’s limbic system) are more likely to be triggered.

    The amygdala is not an intelligent part of the brain – it is quite primitive. It is not capable of thinking up new ideas. So when the amygdala starts to take control of your thinking, it will simply repeat patterns that it already knows. If you have thought through a situation a couple of times, the amygdala learns this as an “appropriate” response, and so it encourages you to repeat it. The more you repeat it, the more embedded the response gets … and so the vicious cycle repeats.

    How Do You Overcome Overthinking?

    Overthinking is all about repeating patterns of thinking. So you have to practice changing those patterns. When you catch yourself out overthinking, force yourself to think something else. This is a basic distraction technique.

    Simply doing something else that absorbs your thinking, like playing table tennis, will do it. Playing table tennis is something you have to concentrate on. You cannot play table tennis while you are overthinking something else.

    Of course, it doesn’t have to be table tennis. You can read a book, talk to someone (about something other than what you are overthinking), browse the Internet, bake a cake … anything that will absorb your mind into something else.

    And Finally …

    I help people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them regain control of their lives and return to a state of normality. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online. Contact me if you would like a chat about it.

    Photo courtesy of the Mental Health Foundation / Catherine Williams

  • Anxiety and the Never-Ending To-Do List

    Anxiety and the Never-Ending To-Do List

    One of the many things that gives rise to anxiety is having too much on your plate – that is, you have too much on your “to-do list” and not enough time to get it all done. If you have too much to do, you feel stressed. If you can’t get it all done, the stress never goes away. And if the stress never goes away, it can develop into anxiety.

    The Ovsiankina Effect

    When we have something that needs doing, or is only partially done, it stays in our mind. Intrusive thoughts will invade our mind, telling us that it needs to be completed. It will nag at us until it is completed, creating a tension that inhabits us. In psychology, this is known as the Ovsiankina Effect (after the Russian psychologist Maria Ovsiankina – and, no, I don’t know how to pronounce her name either!)

    So, when you have ten jobs to do in the day, you may find yourself rushing round to finish them all. You may also notice a tension in your body and mind while they remain unfinished. When the last one is completed, there is that “Aaaahhh” moment when you can relax.

    If you have too much to do, and never get to the end of the to-do list, you are always in a state of tension and never reach the point at which your mind can relax. If this goes on too long, it can lead to anxiety.

    Capacity for Stress

    Different people have different capacities for this type of stress. Some people are quite happy with a huge number of unfinished tasks, whereas others find it difficult to cope with just a few. So you need to get to know your own self. Learn what leads to anxiety, and what you can cope with.

    What Can You Do About It?

    What can you do about this source of anxiety? Quite simple, you have to reduce the amount of unfinished things on your plate. You have to get some of those jobs finished before starting new projects. Or you just have to take on less, so not as much is going on to your plate in the first place.

    It is often difficult for someone who is a naturally busy individual to slow down a bit, or for someone who likes starting something new more than finishing things off just to stop taking on new stuff and clear the backlog. However – this is exactly what you have to do.

    And Finally …

    I help people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. If you need help in this area, if you don’t feel you can manage it on your own, then contact me and we can look to setting up some hypnotherapy sessions so that you can get back in control of your life.

    References

    The psychology of unfinished tasks, Dr Hannah Rose
    https://nesslabs.com/unfinished-tasks

    Photo by Meruyert Gonullu on pexels