I’ve just come back from a good walk in the woods nearby. My head was so full of stuff that it was buzzing round my brain. I found that I couldn’t settle and focus on one thing. I had a gap between clients so took the opportunity to clear my head a bit with a good walk.
When my head is too full, I don’t try and resolve everything. There’s too much there to resolve. I just have to let it go. Walking round some beautiful woods is a great way to let it go. Of course, every now and then some of those thoughts would creep back in, so I just noticed they were there and let them go again.
When I let the clutter in my head go, just taking in what is around me, it often happens that a resolution pops into my head. In the last 10 minutes of my walk, it suddenly occurred to me that there were two important things that needed doing, and all the other stuff didn’t really matter.
Somehow my subconscious had resolved the head full of ideas that I had and given me the answer. I realise that this is a bit like hypnotherapy. When I take my clients into trance, it allows their subconscious to sort out the problems they have come to see me about.
So if your head is too full of stuff, go for a walk and, as far as you can, just let it all go. You never know what might occur to you when you are detached from it all. If you still need help after that, you are welcome to Contact Me about the possibilities that hypnotherapy might offer you. I work out of my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.
You wake up in the morning and feel a sense of dread – for no particular reason. If only you could step outside of yourself, even for a few moments, to analyse what is going on.
Is it a fear of something that might happen that day? (… but it’s just a normal day.) Is it worry about something you messed up yesterday? (… but you didn’t mess anything up yesterday.) Is there something overwhelming that you have to achieve today? (… but, like I said, it’s just a normal day.)
That sense of dread first thing in the morning (or at any time of day) that does not seem to relate to anything – that is a symptom of high levels of anxiety. A doctor might diagnose it as “Generalised Anxiety Disorder” (GAD). But giving it a diagnostic name might help you identify what it is, but it doesn’t take away the awful feeling that you are left with.
Why We Get Anxiety Over Nothing In Particular
When there is a build-up of stress, worry, regret, justified anger and so on, the subconscious recognises that something is wrong. The “stress bucket” becomes full. The subconscious does not know what is wrong, it just senses there is something wrong.
So our subconscious starts to make us anxious. Why? Because anxiety makes us look out for things that might go wrong. When wake in the morning, our subconscious immediately makes us anxious so that we start looking out for the threats to our lives. Of course, there are no threats to our lives, but because of all the overload of stress, the depths of our brain reacts as if there is … just in case.
The anxiety, of course, simply adds to the stress and makes the situation worse. We can get stuck in a seemingly never-ending life of waking up each morning feeling the anxiety that invades our minds and bodies.
What To Do About Morning Anxiety
As with any form of anxiety, there are (in broad terms) three general routes to follow. You can try one or more of these to help:
Medication – go to your doctor, explain the symptoms and ask for medication to help.
Self-help – look up “self care for anxiety” on Google and find a plethora of advice (see, for example, the advice from MIND listed below).
Therapy – find a hypnotherapist, CBT specialist, counsellor or some other type of therapist who specialise in anxiety.
Hypnotherapy for Anxiety
I specialise in helping people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help that get back to their normal selves again. I would be happy to have a chat if you would like to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online.
There are other hypnotherapists out there – and if you choose someone else, make sure they are properly qualified, follow good ethical practices and are fully insured. Check them out on the National Council for Hypnotherapy website or the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy website.
The world is a scary place, and it can seem even scarier when you watch the news or read a newspaper. News can increase anxiety levels.
Some of the people I see in my hypnotherapy clinic have simply stopped watching the News. They have realised that it just adds to their stress and so they have stopped. Others seem to watch the news several times a day, and it makes them very anxious.
Anxiety often occurs when there is something we are aware of that might go wrong, but is out of our control, like waiting for the results of a job interview, wondering whether you are going to be sick during the Covid lockdowns, or staying up late waiting for your teenager to come home when they’ve gone out on their own for the first time.
The News is a bit like that – something bad might happen that effects you and your family, and it is out of your control. The News can make you anxious.
But many of us like to be informed about what is going on in the world. We like to keep in touch with the News – local, national and international. And of course, there is nothing wrong with doing that, provided we can control any additional stress that we might experience.
It’s all about getting the right balance. Do you ignore the News, just read the headlines, or read everything in detail? It all depends on what you want, and how much it effects you.
I see people in my hypnotherapy clinic every week who are struggling to cope with anxiety and stress. I help them get back in control of their lives. If you are interested in finding out what hypnotherapy can do for you, check out my website and Contact Me. I will be very happy to have a chat with you.
Social anxiety can ruin lives … Daisy walks down the street worrying about what the other people think of her. She worries that they think she is ugly. She worries that they might stop her and become angry. She worries that they look down on her. Daisy has only a few friends, and although she worries less about what they think, she still worries. Daisy doesn’t get out much.
Now Daisy isn’t a real person, but her social anxiety is real in many people. They get anxious around others – maybe in crowds, or on the phone to strangers, or even just walking down the street. This is social anxiety – anxiety that is triggered by the presence of other people, particularly people they don’t know.
Whether anxiety is triggered by other people or anything else, it is still anxiety. It is the primitive part of the brain starting to take over, trying to stop you doing something that might be dangerous. Of course, other people are not likely to be a threat, but that does not stop that primitive part of the brain reacting in the way it does.
So if you have a bit of social anxiety, remember that the other people around you are not judging you. They are not going to stop you and get angry. They probably don’t even notice you as you pass them by on the street.
If you have difficulty in getting over social anxiety on your own, you might consider hypnotherapy. I help people with all types of anxiety using hypnotherapy, helping them get back in control of their lives and feel normal again. You can Contact Me if you want a chat about how I can help.
Not everyone has the self-esteem of politicians. In fact, there are some (or maybe many) politicians whose self-confidence comes over as arrogance. But it is the people at the other end of the scale that I want to talk about today – those people who lack self-esteem.
For those people who don’t really believe in themselves, life can be miserable – always holding back, always thinking everyone else is better than them. They don’t believe that they can achieve anything in their lives and don’t believe they are worth anything.
What are the Signs of Someone Who Lacks Self-Esteem?
People who have poor self-esteem will often have some or all of the following characteristics:
An almost constant feeling of anxiety.
They have little confidence in taking decisions.
Their lives seem to be controlled by other people’s decisions.
They believe that everyone else is somehow better than themselves.
When there is a problem, they tend not to ask others for help.
When someone compliments them, they tend to believe that person is lying.
They don’t do new things because they are afraid they won’t do them well enough.
They don’t say “No” when asked to do something which isn’t their responsibility.
They spend a lot of time doing things just to please other people.
They are never proud of their achievements.
Can You Do Something About Low Self-Esteem?
Why is it difficult to do something about poor self-esteem? The answer is simple. If you have poor self-esteem, if you don’t believe in yourself, then you don’t believe you are capable of change. But, of course, you are quite capable of changing, even though you don’t believe it.
It is hard to change a belief about yourself. It feels like you are attempting to pull yourself up into the air by holding onto your ankles and lifting. If you don’t believe you can do it – why start?
I am writing this today to let you know, in no uncertain terms, that you can do something about it. You don’t have to have the arrogance of some politicians (you know the ones I am talking about), but to have an honest understanding of what you are capable of achieving leads to a happier life. And a better understanding of your own self-worth leads to a more balanced view of yourself.
What Can You Do To Tackle Low Self-Esteem?
There is a lot of advice that people will give you about tackling low self-esteem – such as being kind to yourself and challenging negative thoughts. If you can manage to do these on your own then go for it! There is no better therapy than doing it yourself.
However, it is often difficult to be your own therapist, so you may want to see a counsellor or CBT therapist for example. As always, I would recommend hypnotherapy.
Hypnotherapy is an Excellent Aid to Low Self-Esteem
Hypnotherapy is good for people with low self-esteem because it address the sub-conscious and those limiting beliefs that cause the problem in the first place.
I work out of my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working with clients online. I focus on issues around anxiety, and poor self-esteem often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. If you want to Contact Me, I will be happy to arrange a few minutes chat about it.
The “What If” worry cycle is an anxiety-related problem that most people will have experienced at sometime in their lives. It starts with worrying about something going wrong, and the consequences of what happens next. It is a constant cycle of asking ourselves, “… and then what if …”. This is known as “catastrophising”.
Alison’s Story
Alison arrived home from work one day, sat down, and tried to calm down the stream of thoughts going through her head. As she had left work, her boss had looked towards her in a strange way, and he had not said, “See you tomorrow” as he usually did …
Maybe she had done something wrong … She’d soon know if he asked her to see him tomorrow … Or maybe he was just noting it down to confront her with it at a later date … She tried to think of what she had done that day that might have been wrong … What if she was sacked? … What if she couldn’t find another job? … The rent would go overdue and she’d be kicked out … Maybe Joan would let her sleep on her sofa … But she couldn’t stay there forever …
After a sleepless night, Alison arrived at work the next day, only to find that her boss had been so preoccupied with something else, he had not even see her leave work.
Other Examples of the Worry Cycle
If I fail my exams, I won’t get the job I want, then my life will be ruined.
This spot on my arm could turn out to be cancer – I might die and what would my kids do then?
My teenager is not back from the party she went to. What if she has had her drink spiked? Maybe she is lying unconscious on the street somewhere.
My partner’s not answering his phone. What if he’s with another woman? Maybe it’s my sister.
Why have a got an ache in my chest? Is there something wrong with my heart? Could this be the build up to a heart attack?
Catastrophising
The pattern of thinking where we anticipate something bad happening to us, and then anticipate something worse that could happen as a consequence, and then something worse that that, and so on – this is called “catastrophising”. Some people seem to learn how to think catastrophically and catastrophise about something almost every day.
Catastrophising is a threat to our mental health. Every time we go through the process of catastrophic thinking, we add more stress to our lives, which in turn increases the activity of the amygdala – the fight or flight centre of our brain. This is like pouring fuel on the fire of other problems we might have:
People who already have poor mental health – such as anxiety, OCD or depression – may find their symptoms becoming worse when they catastrophise.
Some people live with chronic pain, caused by arthritis, fibromyalgia and the like. If they catastrophise they will often find that their pain become worse.
When is Worrying a Problem?
Most people have worries about the future, at least on occasions. Worrying about the future is not an issue, provided that it is kept under control. If we anticipate what might go wrong, we might be able to do something about it, or prepare for it.
If you worry about failing your exams – you can study for them.
If you worry about the spot on your arm or the pain in your chest – you can get a doctor to check you out.
If you worry about your daughter not coming home on time – you can phone up and check what’s going on.
If you are worried that your partner is not answering the phone, you can ask them why they didn’t answer when you see them next.
Of course, there are some things that people worry about that they can’t do anything about. They might worry about the dreadful things reported on the news. They might worry about the results of a medical test that they are not going to hear about until next week. These are wasted worries. If you cannot do anything about it, then worrying about it will not change the outcome.
Worrying only becomes a problem when it becomes our default way of thinking. If we are constantly worrying or catastrophising, then it impacts our mental and physical health. This is when we need to do something about it.
What Can We Do About It?
The last step is to turn it around. Ask yourself what will happen if everything goes right – what if you do pass the exam? What if that spot just turns out to be a benign mole? What if your partner simply forgot to turn their phone on?
The first step is to recognise that we are catastrophising. Ask yourself if these sort of “what if … what if” worry-cycle thoughts go through your head quite often.
Next, see how good you are at catching yourself doing it. You might start by just noting that you have had some catastrophising thoughts – but only after you have had them. Eventually, you will find that you can spot them mid-flow; you will realise that the same cycle of thinking of worse and worse scenarios is actually happening while you are doing it.
Once you can spot the cycle, while it is happening, don’t beat yourself up about it, just tell yourself, “That’s interesting, I am doing it again.”
Gradually, over a period of time, the cycle of catastrophising will lessen. Don’t be disappointed if it takes a while. You need patience. You are retraining your brain to think in a different way. If you are the worrying kind, your brain will be very experienced and very quick to worry. So practice, practice practice. Eventually, it will calm down and you will be able to get on with life as normal without the constant cycle of worry in your mind.
Getting Therapy
If you find you cannot manage to calm down the worry cycle on your own, you may want to seek help from a therapist. There are a lot of types of therapy available to help, among which are CBT and hypnotherapy.
I help worriers as well as those with other forms of anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get back to their normal, calmer selves. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. Do Contact Me if you want to have a chat.
References
Other articles that may be of interest include:
Catastrophising: How toxic thinking leads you down dark paths
