Let me ask you a question: What is your reaction when your plans are disrupted? You know what you want to do, but someone or something unexpectedly stops you.
The other day, I went out on an errand in the car for a couple of hours, and when I got back, the end of my road was blocked off. A notice said, “Road closed – please find an Alternative Route” and I couldn’t get to my house. So I drove round the streets until I got to the other end of my street. A few yards up that way was another notice: “Road closed – please find an Alternative Route”. Both routes to my home had been blocked off.
Let me ask you that question again: What is your reaction when your plans are disrupted? Do you get angry. Do you swear? Do you shout at the people who are preventing you from carrying on? Do you quietly fume, holding it all in? … If you do any of these, you are simply adding to your stress. No matter how indignant you feel, developing that righteous anger will not make the situation any better.
I found a place to park on the street some way off, and walked home. If something upsets my plans, I put it aside and find a way round the problem. I have learnt not to get angry, or tense. I just say, “It is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it.”
You see, getting angry, upset or stressed when someone or something upsets your plans is a response that you have when you already have a lot of stress in your life. When your “stress bucket” is already full, adding another difficulty will push you into anger, anxiety, depression or some other negative emotion. Of course, the negative emotion does not help solve the problem.
Later on that day, the workmen had gone and I walked back to the car and drove it home. I looked for the positives: 1) I got an additional walk in the fresh air, 2) the pot holes at the end of the road were (at last) filled in, and 3) I got an idea and a photo for this blog.
So if your road is blocked, don’t get mad, simply find an alternative route.
And Finally …
I have just made a very glib statement – “simply find an alternative route.” I know that it is not that easy for some people, especially those suffering from anxiety. I help people with anxiety using hypnotherapy to help them regain normality in their lives. You can Contact Me if you want to find out more about how I can help you.
Procrastination leads to increased stress levels. Increased stress levels lead to increased chances of anxiety. If you are a habitual procrastinator, you need to do something about it if you want to ease the additional stress that you are creating for yourself.
What Is Procrastination?
Have you got stuff that needs doing that you have put off? That household job that you know needs doing, but could always be done next week. That medical test that you really should get done, but you don’t really want to know the result. That paperwork that needs seeing to, but is not that urgent.
This is procrastination – putting off doing something until it becomes urgent, even though putting it off adds to your stress. That stress can eventually turn into anxiety.
Why Do We Procrastinate?
When there is something that needs doing, but it’s boring or unpleasant, then it is always easier to find something else to do. That “something else” distracts you from thinking about the thing that needs doing. Scrolling on your phone distracts you from the nagging thought that you really ought to clear those out-of-date items at the back of your fridge.
It’s all about rewards and stresses. Scrolling on the phone give you a small sense of reward, whereas cleaning out the fridge does not. Leaving the fridge just another day does not add much stress. The reward you get from scrolling on the phone is enough to counteract the small bit of stress you get from not cleaning the fridge.
The problem is that the same thing will happen tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that … That small amount of stress is always there. And it’s not just the fridge, is it? There are all the other things that you put off, because it’s so easy to do something else more pleasurable.
What Do You Procrastinate About?
It is important to understand the difference between important tasks and urgent tasks.
Urgent tasks need to be done right away, or at least, very soon. If your rent is due today, then it is urgent that you pay it today. If the movie you have gone to see starts in 10 minutes, then it is urgent that you go in and sit down in the theatre.
Important tasks are tasks that are going to have a big impact on your life. It is important that you pay the rent, otherwise you might find yourself being evicted. It would be nice to get to see the movie on time, but, in the grand scheme of things, it is not that important.
Tasks like sorting out that pile of financial papers, booking that medical test that your doctor said you would need, and fixing that slow leak at the back of the sink are important, but they are not that urgent. You can always put them off until next week.
You will tend to procrastinate about tasks that are not urgent, particularly if they are boring or are somehow unpleasant to do. Problems tend to arise when you procrastinate about important tasks that are not urgent. They just get left and provide a constant source of stress while they are not getting done.
How Does Procrastination Impact Anxiety?
When you put things off, you often have that nagging thought, “I really need to get around to doing that.” This thought creates a little bit of stress. The longer you put it off, the more stress it generates.
The more stress you have in life, the more likely you are to develop anxiety. Procrastination itself does not generate anxiety, but the accumulation of the stresses of procrastination with other stresses of life will.
Is Procrastination A Problem For You?
Start by analysing your own behaviour, thoughts and feelings. What tasks are you procrastinating over right now? How much are those tasks creating those nagging thoughts? How does all this make you feel?
Now ask yourself, “What will it be like when those tasks are done?” Get a sense of how good you will feel when they are all out of the way and you can get on with life.
Now step back and evaluate yourself. Is procastination a problem for you? If it is, you should start doing something about it.
How Can You Get Over Procrastination?
If you are a habitual procrastinator, experiment with some of these ideas to find out which combination works best for you:
Write a list of tasks – Listing tasks gives you a sense of control. Write a list of all the tasks that you are procrastinating about. Put this list somewhere where you will see it every day.
Cross things off the list when you have done them – Creating a visible sign of progress gives a sense of accomplishment. When you have completed a task, cross it off your list using a thick pen or highlighter, or if it is an electronic list, highlight the task by making it bold, say.
Do something, however small – Motivation arises when you start doing something. Make a deal with yourself to work at a task for, say, ten minutes. Once ten minutes are over, you can choose whether to continue or finish it later.
Be proud of yourself when you done a task – A few seconds of pride in yourself when you have done something that you have been putting off will motivate you to do some more tasks at another time. Take a moment to step back and look at what you have done. It may not be much, but you can still be proud of achieving it.
Break down big tasks into little tasks – You will feel more motivated to start a small task than a big one. That pile of financial papers that need sorting … divide it into, say, four smaller piles, and just sort one of them to start with.
Reward yourself for doing a task – Promised rewards provide motivation. Make a deal with yourself – I will do something more enjoyable after completing one of the tasks. When you have done one task, reward yourself with half an hour of screen time, or your favourite meal.
Do small tasks immediately – It is difficult to motivate yourself to start on a list of hundreds of tiny jobs. Estabish the “two minute rule” in your life. If you have a task that will take less than two minutes – do it immediately rather than adding it to your list.
Get a friend to hold you accountable – You are more likely to do a task if have told someone else that you’ll do it. Tell your friend what you are going to do and when you plan to do it. Also, tell them when you have done it.
Forgive yourself – Forgiving yourself for your past procrastination will help you do more tasks on your list. If you feel guilty about procrastination, then your list of tasks will only remind you of your guilt feelings, so you may avoid thinking about the tasks. So go easy on yourself.
Book time in your calendar – When you know you have a fixed time to clear some of your backlog of tasks, you will be more likely to do them. Book time to work on them in your calendar, and when the time is up you can get on and do something more enjoyable.
And Finally
If procrastination is a problem for you, then it is a problem. It needs sorting out. Start small and build it up so that procrastination is no longer a habit. If it is not a problem for you, then you don’t need to fix it. Just remember that procrastination adds to your stress, and too much stress turns into anxiety.
If you need some help with any aspect of your anxiety or depression, you may like to give hypnotherapy a go. Contact Me for a free 15 minute consultation. I would be happy to talk your issues through with you and answer any questions you might have.
Credits
Photograph by Mizuno K on Pexels Graphics generated by AI Google NotebookLM
I’ve just come back from a good walk in the woods nearby. My head was so full of stuff that it was buzzing round my brain. I found that I couldn’t settle and focus on one thing. I had a gap between clients so took the opportunity to clear my head a bit with a good walk.
When my head is too full, I don’t try and resolve everything. There’s too much there to resolve. I just have to let it go. Walking round some beautiful woods is a great way to let it go. Of course, every now and then some of those thoughts would creep back in, so I just noticed they were there and let them go again.
When I let the clutter in my head go, just taking in what is around me, it often happens that a resolution pops into my head. In the last 10 minutes of my walk, it suddenly occurred to me that there were two important things that needed doing, and all the other stuff didn’t really matter.
Somehow my subconscious had resolved the head full of ideas that I had and given me the answer. I realise that this is a bit like hypnotherapy. When I take my clients into trance, it allows their subconscious to sort out the problems they have come to see me about.
So if your head is too full of stuff, go for a walk and, as far as you can, just let it all go. You never know what might occur to you when you are detached from it all. If you still need help after that, you are welcome to Contact Me about the possibilities that hypnotherapy might offer you. I work out of my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.
You wake up in the morning and feel a sense of dread – for no particular reason. If only you could step outside of yourself, even for a few moments, to analyse what is going on.
Is it a fear of something that might happen that day? (… but it’s just a normal day.) Is it worry about something you messed up yesterday? (… but you didn’t mess anything up yesterday.) Is there something overwhelming that you have to achieve today? (… but, like I said, it’s just a normal day.)
That sense of dread first thing in the morning (or at any time of day) that does not seem to relate to anything – that is a symptom of high levels of anxiety. A doctor might diagnose it as “Generalised Anxiety Disorder” (GAD). But giving it a diagnostic name might help you identify what it is, but it doesn’t take away the awful feeling that you are left with.
Why We Get Anxiety Over Nothing In Particular
When there is a build-up of stress, worry, regret, justified anger and so on, the subconscious recognises that something is wrong. The “stress bucket” becomes full. The subconscious does not know what is wrong, it just senses there is something wrong.
So our subconscious starts to make us anxious. Why? Because anxiety makes us look out for things that might go wrong. When wake in the morning, our subconscious immediately makes us anxious so that we start looking out for the threats to our lives. Of course, there are no threats to our lives, but because of all the overload of stress, the depths of our brain reacts as if there is … just in case.
The anxiety, of course, simply adds to the stress and makes the situation worse. We can get stuck in a seemingly never-ending life of waking up each morning feeling the anxiety that invades our minds and bodies.
What To Do About Morning Anxiety
As with any form of anxiety, there are (in broad terms) three general routes to follow. You can try one or more of these to help:
Medication – go to your doctor, explain the symptoms and ask for medication to help.
Self-help – look up “self care for anxiety” on Google and find a plethora of advice (see, for example, the advice from MIND listed below).
Therapy – find a hypnotherapist, CBT specialist, counsellor or some other type of therapist who specialise in anxiety.
Hypnotherapy for Anxiety
I specialise in helping people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help that get back to their normal selves again. I would be happy to have a chat if you would like to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online.
There are other hypnotherapists out there – and if you choose someone else, make sure they are properly qualified, follow good ethical practices and are fully insured. Check them out on the National Council for Hypnotherapy website or the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy website.
The world is a scary place, and it can seem even scarier when you watch the news or read a newspaper. News can increase anxiety levels.
Some of the people I see in my hypnotherapy clinic have simply stopped watching the News. They have realised that it just adds to their stress and so they have stopped. Others seem to watch the news several times a day, and it makes them very anxious.
Anxiety often occurs when there is something we are aware of that might go wrong, but is out of our control, like waiting for the results of a job interview, wondering whether you are going to be sick during the Covid lockdowns, or staying up late waiting for your teenager to come home when they’ve gone out on their own for the first time.
The News is a bit like that – something bad might happen that effects you and your family, and it is out of your control. The News can make you anxious.
But many of us like to be informed about what is going on in the world. We like to keep in touch with the News – local, national and international. And of course, there is nothing wrong with doing that, provided we can control any additional stress that we might experience.
It’s all about getting the right balance. Do you ignore the News, just read the headlines, or read everything in detail? It all depends on what you want, and how much it effects you.
I see people in my hypnotherapy clinic every week who are struggling to cope with anxiety and stress. I help them get back in control of their lives. If you are interested in finding out what hypnotherapy can do for you, check out my website and Contact Me. I will be very happy to have a chat with you.
Social anxiety can ruin lives … Daisy walks down the street worrying about what the other people think of her. She worries that they think she is ugly. She worries that they might stop her and become angry. She worries that they look down on her. Daisy has only a few friends, and although she worries less about what they think, she still worries. Daisy doesn’t get out much.
Now Daisy isn’t a real person, but her social anxiety is real in many people. They get anxious around others – maybe in crowds, or on the phone to strangers, or even just walking down the street. This is social anxiety – anxiety that is triggered by the presence of other people, particularly people they don’t know.
Whether anxiety is triggered by other people or anything else, it is still anxiety. It is the primitive part of the brain starting to take over, trying to stop you doing something that might be dangerous. Of course, other people are not likely to be a threat, but that does not stop that primitive part of the brain reacting in the way it does.
So if you have a bit of social anxiety, remember that the other people around you are not judging you. They are not going to stop you and get angry. They probably don’t even notice you as you pass them by on the street.
If you have difficulty in getting over social anxiety on your own, you might consider hypnotherapy. I help people with all types of anxiety using hypnotherapy, helping them get back in control of their lives and feel normal again. You can Contact Me if you want a chat about how I can help.
