Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Category: Stress and Anxiety

  • Anxiety is Like a Game of Jenga

    Anxiety is Like a Game of Jenga

    A life of anxiety is like a game of Jenga – you are only in control of half the things that are going on, and you never know when things might go wrong. Step by step, you have to make your move changing the position of something in your life, while someone else is making moves that you cannot control. And all the time there is a sense of jeopardy as you never know if your life will collapse in front of you.

    Of course, although our lives might seem like jeopardy, things very rarely go wrong to the extent that our lives are completely ruined. Most people have survived major changes to their lives, some brought on by themselves, but mostly brought on by external circumstances. We are a very resilient species and able to cope with a lot.

    Whereas a game of Jenga gives us a sense of excitement, never quite knowing when the tower is going to fall, uncertainty in life gives rise to anxiety. The stakes are higher in the game of life; we cannot rebuild the Jenga tower and start again. When things go wrong, we have to cope.

    Sometimes, it seems like there is so much that is going wrong, that the anxiety become overwhelming. This is the time many people seek out help. In truth, it would be better if they had sought help before it got that bad.

    Help comes in many forms, and these can be divided into three main categories:

    1. Self Help – There are plenty of things you can do for yourself that will improve things – exercise, eating less junk food, getting enough sleep, making time to give our brains a rest and so on.
    2. Medication – There are plenty of drugs that can be prescribed that can make an anxiety-filled life more tolerable.
    3. Therapy – There are plenty of therapists from different disciplines that can help.

    I would always recommend self-help first, but if you need help beyond that, my natural tendency is to head for hypnotherapy. Of course, that is what I do, so I would say that … but I have seen so many people get back in control of their anxiety-ridden lives through hypnotherapy that it comes at the top of my list.

    And Finally …

    If you want the help of a hypnotherapist, please consider me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire, as well as online. I specialise in helping people with anxiety-related issues. If you want to Contact Me, I would be very happy to have a chat and answer your questions.

    Photo courtesy of Emily Fullerton at the Mental health Foundation

  • Unbelievable Changes: The Wonder of Hypnotherapy

    Unbelievable Changes: The Wonder of Hypnotherapy

    It always seems unbelievable. This person used to panic at the thought of speaking in front of an audience … they had frozen, unable to speak, when faced with delivering a talk that they had already rehearsed many times. And after a few sessions of hypnotherapy, they were able to stand up and fluently give a presentation to an audience of several hundred … and they actually enjoyed the experience.

    This is the sort of transformation that I see in my clinic over and over again. It may be anxiety about giving a talk, about going on a plane, about changing jobs, about driving on a motorway. Or it could be worry about things going wrong, or lack of confidence in themselves. Or it could be so ingrained that they get anxious as soon as they wake up – even though it is just another ordinary day.

    It seems like a miracle that people can change so quickly.

    But think about it. If you break your leg, doctors can set your leg with splint or a plaster cast and after a few weeks, the leg will miraculously heal itself. When you allow your body to be handled by skilled physicians, that same body will heal itself. This seems like miracle too.

    Your brain is simply a part of your body. Allowing a hypnotherapist to put your brain into the right state can allow the brain to heal itself. When I see my clients, that is all I do. I simply guide them into the right state of mind that allows the brain to heal itself.

    I will never stop being amazed at how incredible changes can happen over a few short weeks.

    And Finally …

    I help people for whom anxiety is controlling their lives. If you are struggling with anxiety, in any one of its many forms, you can do something about it. Hypnotherapy is not the only answer, but if you would like to experience hypnotherapy, you can Contact Me and I will be happy to talk to you about it. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Photo by Henri Mathieu-Saint-Laurent

  • Controlling the Scrolling: Social Media and Mental Health

    Controlling the Scrolling: Social Media and Mental Health

    Social media is now part of our society. Research suggests that around 4.9 billion people around the world use social media, spending an average of 145 minutes (that’s nearly two and a half hours) every day. Studies suggest that this may cause an increase in anxiety and depression.

    Anxiety, Depression and Social Media

    You may wonder how social media can impact our mental health? It starts with the addictive nature of social media. These systems are designed to keep us scrolling. It effects the brain by giving us little hits of dopamine – when we see something we like, when someone likes our post, when someone mentions us … and so on. And the dopamine just encourages us to carry on scrolling, looking for the next hit.

    After a while, we need to keep checking our social media just to feel normal, and when we are deprived of it, we feel low – encouraging feelings of anxiety and depression.

    The content that we look at on social media can also cause feelings of anxiety and depression. When someone criticises you or your post, or when you are wondering why your post did not get as many likes as you would like – it creates bad feelings.

    When you see all the happy smiling faces of your friends, as they post about the highlights of their day, you may wonder why your day has not been 24 hours of delight as your friends appear to have.

    All these can lead to feeling bad about yourself. It allows the primitive, anxiety-and-depression-creating part of the brain to take over.

    Social Media Isn’t All Bad

    Please don’t think that I am saying that social media is a bad thing. It has many positive impacts too. It allows people to express themselves, maintains social contact with friends everywhere as well as being a useful source of information. It’s all about balance.

    Social Media Self-Control

    When I ask my clients what little thing they could do to improve their lives, one thing that often comes up is controlling the scrolling. They find that too much social media has a negative impact on their lives, so they resolve to cut it down. The common way to do this is to create self-imposed rules about when and where they use social media.

    Here are a few self-imposed rules that my clients have decided that they will take on:

    • Put the phone down at 8 in the evening – nothing more after that
    • No scrolling in bed
    • No scrolling while sitting on the toilet
    • No looking at the phone until after breakfast
    • Put the phone away while watching television
    • No looking at social media at meal times
    • A social media fast – a month without any social media

    You might like to think what self-control rules you might apply.

    And Finally …

    I always encourage people who talk to me about their anxiety or they mental health in general – find some changes they can do themselves to make it better. Even so, some people still need help.

    If you would like my help – I use hypnotherapy to help my clients regain control of their lives. I work in my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online, so Contact Me if you would like a chat about it.

    References

    Social media’s impact on our mental health
    https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/social-medias-impact-our-mental-health-and-tips-to-use-it-safely/2024/05

    Impact of social media on social anxiety: A systematic review
    https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=pTCRDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA129&dq=impact+of+social+media+on+anxiety&ots=YpmHilZJMr&sig=G5EGh9TTrSYkiZDpdVbsHt68qk8#v=onepage&q=impact%20of%20social%20media%20on%20anxiety&f=false

    Photo courtesy of fauxels on Pexels

  • Worried About What Other People Think … or Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching

    Worried About What Other People Think … or Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching

    Some of the people I see in my hypnotherapy clinic have anxiety because they are constantly worried about what other people are thinking about them. They worry that the strangers they pass on the street are judging them. They are constantly concerned about other people’s views on their looks or behaviour.

    And of course, there are clear logical flaws in this line of thinking:

    1. None of us have any idea what the strangers in the street are thinking. We are not mind-readers. We cannot tell what is going through their heads.
    2. No-one I have talked to ever looks at all the strangers they pass and judges them. It is highly unlikely that anyone we pass will be casting judgement.
    3. Even if someone were to judge us as we passed them by, it makes no difference to our lives, or that of our friends and family what a stranger thinks.

    Despite this, when someone develops this type of anxiety, this worry about what other people think about them, it is difficult to shift the thought pattern. Worry about other people’s thinking gets embedded into our subconscious. It becomes a pattern that is repeated again and again.

    So can you dance like nobody’s watching, or are you too anxious about what other people might think? Or maybe, you are somewhere in between.

    Hypnotherapy can help you get over anxiety issues like this. I work with people with anxiety issues in my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. If you would like to Contact Me, you are most welcome to find out what hypnotherapy can do for you.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Amy Ireland

  • Can You Play the Guitar While You Are Overwhelmed?

    Can You Play the Guitar While You Are Overwhelmed?

    “Overwhelmed” is a word that I often hear in my clinic. “My anxiety is overwhelming.” “My mind is overwhelmed with thoughts of what might go wrong.” “I have so many things that need sorting that my brain feels overwhelmed with worry.”

    People who are overwhelmed with anxiety sometimes tell me that they have stopped doing the things they enjoy – like playing the guitar. Anxiety and being overwhelmed seem to go hand in hand.

    Why is Anxiety Overwhelming?

    The primitive part of our brain that is there to help us survive in the wild world of our ancesters will always keep our mind focused on things that might go wrong. It doesn’t care about how we feel or whether we are leading a satisfying life – it only cares about survival. And so … it gets us to think about things that might be a danger.

    In a world where there is hardly any life-threatening danger, this primitive part of the brain latches on to smaller things that might go wrong – being late for work, worry that other people may be thinking bad things about you, concern that you may have missed out on the latest social media posting and so on.

    Why do we Stop Playing the Guitar?

    If someone is particularly stressed, they will be reminded again and again about what could go wrong – so much that it becomes overwhelming. It also works the other way round – if someone has a lot going on in their lives and they are constantly thinking about it, then it can result in anxiety.

    When someone is overwhelmed, they may stop doing the things that they enjoy. Whether it’s to stop playing the guitar, stop reading or stop going for a walk – it all comes about because that primitive part of the brain keeps telling us to get on with the things that need doing, or it makes us anxious about the problems in life.

    How Can Playing a Guitar Help With Being Overwhelmed?

    Ironically, even though that primitive part of the brain is trying to stop us playing the guitar when we are overwhelmed, it is playing the guitar that will help calm the overwhelmed feeling down.

    When we have a pastime that absorbs our minds completely, that primitive part of the brain that is the source of all the problems calms down a bit. When you are so focused on getting the right chords, or have totally absorbed yourself in watching a film, or you are determined to complete the last set of bench presses in the gym – that is the time when you deliberately focus your attention on what is happening in the moment.

    The anxiety that results from being overwhelmed – or indeed, the overwhelm that results from anxiety – is looking at the dangers that might happen in the future, or regretting the problems that have already gone. So finding an activity that focuses on the here-and-now forces your mind away from the overwhelming anxiety.

    I am not saying that it is easy to switch off from your problems and focus on the here-and-now. It takes practice, but so does playing the guitar. So start just for a few minutes – or even a few seconds – and then build it up gradually.

    And Finally …

    Here, I offer advice for people who are overwhelmed with anxiety, but if you cannot manage to get it under control by yourself, you might consider getting some help. Every week, I see clients who have difficulties with their stress and anxiety. Using hypnotherapy I help them get back on their feet again. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also work online. I would be pleased to have a chat – so Contact Me when you are ready to do so.

    Picture courtesy of the Mental Health Foundation / Steve Somerset

  • Take Control of Your Life with the Three P’s

    Take Control of Your Life with the Three P’s

    There are times in everyone’s life when they seem to loose control. Stress levels hit the roof and they loose a sense of being in control of what is going on. Maybe it is anxiety … maybe it is depression … or maybe there is a simmering anger sitting just beneath the service. It is time to do something about it.

    When you decide it’s time to regain control of your life – you have a number of choices. A lot of people will go to their doctor and get medication. Some will find a therapist to help (I see people every week who have taken this route). And some will look to do something about it themselves.

    The Three P’s

    If you want to do something about it yourself, one of the best ways to normalise your brain is to adopt the 3 P’s into life. You don’t have to have lost control of your life before you start doing this. In fact, you would be far better off adopting the three P’s just to avoid getting into that state in the first place.

    P1 Positive Thinking

    When everything seems to be going wrong in your life, it becomes very easy to focus on the negative. We notice everything that seems to be conspiring against us. Our brains automatically bring our attention to things that are not working for us.

    It takes effort, but if you can deliberately identify the positive things that are happening to you, no matter how small, you can start to regain control of your thinking. Notice even the little things – a nice cup of coffee, a greeting from the person checking out your groceries at the supermarket, or the warmth of the bed as it gradually warms up when you snuggle down under the duvet.

    P2 Positive Action

    It is easy, particularly when you are feeling down, to resort to doing something mindless, like slumping in front of the TV, or endlessly scrolling through your phone. These are little distractions that block out all the negative things that are going on in our minds.

    Instead, make the effort to do something positive. It does not have to be much. Maybe get up and make a cup of tea, go for a walk, or do that household job that you have been putting off for so long. Just go and do it. Taking positive action and doing something that will make your life a bit easier gets your subconscious to realise that it can do something about the situation you are in.

    P3 Positive Interaction

    How often have you avoided talking to other people, just because it’s too much effort. When we are feeling low, our automatic reaction is to avoid other people – or seek out other people to tell them all about our problems.

    It is that positive interaction with others that helps you get back in control. So have a chat with a neighbour when you bump into them on your street, talk with the people around you at work, or go out with friends. Talk to other people about what is good in your life.

    Putting It All Together

    When you have this positive interaction with others, do things that positively affect your life and think positively – when the three P’s are all in play – the chemical balance in your brain will undergo changes. These changes tend to lead to a sense of more control in your life, and your life becomes happier.

    And Finally …

    For some, this is all too hard or takes to long and they want a quicker solution. Hypnotherapy is just one of several therapies known to help. I work as a hypnotherapist in Fleet, Hampshire and would be pleased if you Contact Me – but only when you are really ready to do so!

    Picture Courtesy of Claire Harvey