Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Category: Stress and Anxiety

  • Flying – Scary, Exciting or Just Plane Boring?

    Flying – Scary, Exciting or Just Plane Boring?

    Do you find flying scary? Are you filled with anxiety just thinking about it? How would you like to think about it instead – excited? Or maybe just bored? Yes, some people are simply bored by flights and can’t wait to land and get off the plane. Some people are excited and enjoy the thrill of the whole process.

    The people who come and see me are often not only filled with anxiety during the flight, but also in the days leading up to it, as they anticipate the flight itself. They realise that anxiety about flying is a little stupid, since flying is actually far safer than driving on a motorway. Nevertheless, they have developed an anxiety about flying that they don’t seem to have any control over.

    Where Does Fear of Flying Come From

    We all have a very primitive fight-or-flight reflex, which is where anxiety comes from. Everyone has different triggers for anxiety, and it manifests itself in many different ways. A common form of anxiety comes from a fear of flying. It is not that the primitive fight-or-flight centre in the brain understands anything about flying – it is simply that it has got things wrong.

    There are wildly different estimates for how many people are afraid of flying – estimates that range from 2.5% to 40% of the population. These are people whose holidays are ruined by the worry about the flight, or who avoid taking a flight altogether.

    If you are one of them – you might want to consider doing something about it. If you are just a bit nervous and can cope with it all – then maybe you can live with it. However, if you are avoiding flying or even thinking about cancelling your holidays, the read on.

    Hypnotherapy is one of several ways you can use to help get over the anxiety you feel about flying. I am going to tell you about hypnotherapy – but if hypnotherapy does not suit you – there are flying confidence courses as well as other types of therapy available. Don’t just live with it – recognise that you can do something about it.

    Hypnotherapy for the Anxious Flyer

    Anxiety comes from a primitive part of the brain that we have little control over. It contains all the automatic mechanisms we need to escape from danger or fight a foe – things that were very useful to humans when we lived in a more primitive and dangerous society.

    It is because we have little control over anxiety that hypnotherapy is a useful tool. It allows us to challenge the idea that flying is somehow scary that lies deep in that primitive part of the brain. It allows us to scramble up that idea and replace it with something more palatable, so that a flight can be relaxing and enjoyable – or even boring – all of which are preferable to the anxiety-ridden flights of your past.

    If you are considering hypnotherapy – you are best not leaving it to the last minute. A hypnotherapist cannot magic it all away in one quick session. Ideally, you should be thinking more in terms of three or four sessions in the couple of weeks before the flight.

    And Finally …

    I work with people with anxiety, in one of its many forms, using hypnotherapy from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. I help my clients get back in control of their lives and return to a state of normality. If you would like a chat about a fear of flying, or any other form of anxiety, I would have happy to listen and answer any questions you have about hypnotherapy. Just Contact Me and I would be pleased to arrange a chat on the phone.

    Photo by Eva Darron on Unsplash

  • Anxiety Levels and Our Capacity for Stress

    Anxiety Levels and Our Capacity for Stress

    As I write this blog, the Farnborough Air Show is practising its air displays before the show begins in earnest next week. This all happens a couple of kilometres from my clinic and so I can watch the air displays out of my window. As I watch one aircraft loop-the-loop close to the ground, I wonder at the adrenaline levels of the pilot.

    The stress on the pilot must be enormous – not only do they have to put up with the high G-forces battering their body, they also have to consider the safety of the crowds in the airfield just below them, not to mention their own safety. It is a level of stress that most of us would not be able to tolerate.

    Everyone has a different capacity for stress. For the pilots doing acrobatics in Farnborough – they need to retain total control over their mind and body while undergoing enormous physical and mental stress. You only take a job like that if you have a high capacity for stress. The same goes for people with high pressure jobs – captains of industry, bomb disposal units, prime ministers and so on.

    There are people have a low capacity for handling stress – people who go to pieces when even under the smallest amount of pressure. Most of us are in between these two extremes.

    Of course, our capacity for handling stress affects anxiety. If you have a low tolerance for stress – your “stress bucket” will fill up fast. Once your stress bucket starts to fill, the fight-or-flight centre of the brain starts to take over, and you feel that sense of anxiety. This does not mean that someone with a higher capacity for stress will not develop anxiety – it just that they will tolerate more stress before the anxiety starts to take over.

    So what is the take-away from all this?

    It is simply that we all need to recognise that, just because someone else can handle a lot of stress – it does not mean that you have to. The opposite is also true: just because someone else cannot handle a lot of stress, it does not mean that you can’t either.

    Our reaction to stress is an individual thing. We all need to learn what our own limits are, what we can do, what we can’t, and where the balance lies. If you find something that stresses you too much – do less of it. If you find something you can do that works – do more of it.

    And Finally …

    If you need help with your levels of stress and anxiety … if you want to get back in control of your life again … contact me … I will be happy to have a chat, and if you want the services of a good qualified hypnotherapist to help, I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and would be happy to help.

    Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels

  • How can Hypnotherapy help with Anxiety?

    How can Hypnotherapy help with Anxiety?

    Did you think that hypnotherapy only helps with things like quitting smoking or getting rid of phobias? … Think again … Hypnotherapy can help with all sorts of complex mental issues such as anxiety.

    Anxiety stems deep from within our subconscious in an automatic mechanism designed to help us keep our eye on danger. This is very useful when living in a dangerous world. It is an automatic reaction designed to keep us out of trouble. However, in a world that is relatively safe, anxiety can stop us leading the life we wish to lead.

    Hypnotherapy can help because it deals with processes that lie deep within our subconscious. These processes are the ones that happen automatically and so we have little or no conscious control over them.

    When I see a client, I spend the first half of the one-hour session simply talking about everyday life – what has been going on in their lives and what do they expect to do in the coming weeks. In doing this, I lead them into thinking about a positive future that they might have for themselves – one without anxiety where they can be calm and regain control.

    This means that in the second half of the session, where they go into a nice relaxing trance, their subconscious will turn to sorting out the issues that are causing them anxiety. They may not be aware of this happening as it is entirely at a subconscious level. The success of this process means that I usually see clients for between five and ten sessions before they reach a stage where they’re happy that they have their lives back in control again.

    I practice solution-focused hypnotherapy. This means that I ask my clients to focus on the solution to their anxiety rather than the problem that caused the anxiety in the first place. Many of my clients tell me about the things that have caused them stress and anxiety, but I am far more interested in hearing about how they want to be instead of being anxious.

    Hypnotherapy is not the only treatment for anxiety – there are other therapies available, as well as medication. Hypnotherapy is very effective. However, you need to find the right treatment for you.

    I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire – as well as online. If you would like to have a chat about your anxiety and what hypnotherapy might do for you, contact me and I will be happy to have a chat to help you decide what is the best path for you to take.

    Photo courtesy of Vivien Griffiths, Mental Health Foundation

  • Anxiety, Attitude and the Growth Mindset

    Anxiety, Attitude and the Growth Mindset

    Do you think of yourself as someone who could learn new skills – such as pottery, a new language, karate, computer programming … Or do you think of yourself as the “you” that you are now – “This is who I am. I’m never going to change.”? These two attitudes are sometimes referred to as a Growth Mindset and a Fixed Mindset.

    In reality, it is not simply one mindset or the other – there is a scale of attitudes that range from extreme growth mindset to extreme fixed mindset.

    Now, I am not saying one attitude is good and the other bad – we are all different. It’s just that if your mindset is too fixed about your level of anxiety, then this may just be holding you back from getting back control of your life.

    If you have the attitude – “I am an anxious person – this can never change”, then it is likely that it will never change. Your subconscious will simply not be looking to change. Whereas, if you have the attitude – “I am anxious now – but there is no need for me to be like this for the rest of my life”, then the subconscious is free to look for avenue that will lead you to a calmer life.

    The first step in doing anything about your anxiety is to realise that you can change. Life can be better. It will not change by magic, and different things will help different people. You have to look for the solution that suits you best.

    I help people with anxiety every day using the power of hypnotherapy – but that is not the only way forward. There are plenty of things you can try for yourself – but the first step is to realise that you can change.

    And Finally …

    If you feel you need help getting on top of your anxiety, you can contact me and I will be happy to answer any questions you might have about how hypnotherapy can help.

    Picture courtesy of the Mental Health Foundation

  • Don’t Forget to Smell the Roses

    Don’t Forget to Smell the Roses

    The roses in my garden are coming out and filling the air with perfume. But as I rush to my clinic in the garden, I don’t notice them. I am too much in a hurry in case I am not ready for my first client. I am more motivated because I don’t want to be late than I am to appreciate the roses.

    So what motivates you?

    Motivation can work in two different way – towards or away-from. Towards-motivation is all about doing something because you want something positive … “I will go to the supermarket because I would really like a nice lasagne tonight and I need the ingredients.” Whereas away-from-motivation is all about getting away from something negative … “I will go to that meeting because I don’t want to be told off by my boss.”

    Anxiety works on the away-from motivation. It focuses attention on all the things that could possibly go wrong. Anxiety is a primitive survival mechanism that does not care how you feel – it only cares that you survive. That is why, when you are anxious, you find yourself automatically focusing on stuff that is or might go wrong.

    Focusing on things that might go wrong then feeds the anxiety mechanism even more. It is a self-fulfilling loop.

    In order to help break this vicious circle, spend time actively looking our for the good things in life – no matter how small. Take time to smell the roses.

    Photo by Živa Trajbarič on Pexels

  • The Worry-Anxiety Vicious Circle

    The Worry-Anxiety Vicious Circle

    There are many reasons why people have anxiety. One of them is worry. Worrying is there for a purpose – it’s there to make us think things through so we are prepared to tackle the bad things that life throws at us. However, it is easy to worry to excess.

    Worry happens when we imagine something bad is going to occur. We start to imagine all the possible things that could go wrong. The reason humans have this ability is because when you can imagine something going wrong, you can imagine what to do about it if it does. Then you can prepare for it.

    The trouble is that worrying can backfire on us in a number of ways – ways that lead to anxiety:

    • Worrying about the same thing over and over again
    • Worrying about something that is very unlikely to happen
    • Worrying about things that we can’t do anything about and cannot prepare for
    • Catastrophising – worrying about things getting bad, then worse, and then worse than that

    Worry Can Lead to Anxiety

    The problem is that the primitive part of our brain hasn’t caught up with the intelligent part. The primitive part of our brain (the limbic system) is very simple and is all about survival. It contains the basic functions that most mammals have – including fight-or-flight. It does not understand that we have also got a highly intelligent cortex surrounding it that is capable of imagining things.

    So when we worry, we imaging things going wrong and the fight-or-flight centre triggers into action. It is as if it assumes that things are going wrong right now. It’s reaction is to create anxiety, because anxiety is the thing that makes us be hyper-aware of danger.

    Anxiety Can Lead to Worry

    When we feel anxiety, our thinking process starts to focus on possible danger. It is a survival mechanism used to protect us when there may be something life-threatening. It was very useful in days-gone-by when the world was a more dangerous place. Most of the world is relatively safe these days, and so the feeling of anxiety is less useful.

    But when we do feel anxious, our imagination is drawn towards the things that could go wrong – that is, we start to worry about the problems that may (or may not) occur.

    The Vicious Circle

    So worry can lead to anxiety and anxiety can lead to worry, and so the cycle continues. We need a way to break the vicious circle, which will enable us to calm down. I will leave you to explore other articles in my blog to find suggestions.

    And Finally …

    If you find yourself unable to break the worry-anxiety vicious circle on your own, or your anxiety manifests itself in a different way, you might consider hypnotherapy. I help people who are only just coping with anxiety from my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire, as well as online. Contact me if you want a chat to see how I might help.

    Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels