Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Category: Hypnotherapy

  • Turning Fake Smiles Genuine

    Turning Fake Smiles Genuine

    You may not think it, but it is possible to smile (with a genuine smile) through tough times. My clients come to my hypnotherapy clinic, because they are overwhelmed with stress or anxiety. It might be work, family life or something else that causes them to feel that they can almost cope, but not quite.

    Their thoughts are overwhelmed with worry, rage, feeling that they are not worth it, or just simply with the amount of stuff they have to do. The clients that come through my door are not smiling – except those that are putting on a smile as a sort of mask to protect themselves from the world.

    So many people hide behind a mask. They put on a fake happy face so that no-one will know their true feelings. No-one will know just how bad they feel. It’s a sort of lie, and sometimes they even lie to themselves, telling themselves that they are okay, even when they are not.

    One of the great joys of my job is to see my clients leave with a genuine smile on their face (and, believe me, I am very good at telling the difference!) It may take a few weeks, but seeing them walk out of my clinic for the last time back in control of themselves is a genuine pleasure.

    Hypnotherapy is not magic. I cannot just click my fingers and make people change. I just soften my client’s subconscious a bit, so that they are able to make the changes that they want for themselves.

    If you would like to be able to cope when you feel overwhelmed, to find that you can put on a genuine smile when things get tough, you might want to give hypnotherapy a try. Contact Me at my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire (I also work online) and I will be happy to have a chat with you.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Luwi Masumba

  • So What Exactly Is Hypnosis?

    So What Exactly Is Hypnosis?

    I use hypnosis in my job as a hypnotherapist, helping people with anxiety and other issues get back to be in control of their lives. Hypnotherapy is the main positive use for hypnosis. However, hypnosis can be used for other reasons such as hypnosis stage shows.

    Trance

    The first thing to understand about hypnosis is the idea of Trance. A simple online search for the definition of trance will produce a wide variety of answers – a state between sleeping and waking – a state in which you can hear but appear to be asleep – a state in which you are not self-aware – a state in which you are unresponsive to external stimuli.

    All these definitions have some truth in them, but do not describe the complete picture. Someone dancing in a club, just letting themselves go without any thought, can be in a trance. An athlete who is able to get “in the zone” is in a trance. When someone gets lost in a good book, so that they are unaware of what is going on around them and loose track of time, is in a trance.

    When you are in a trance, you are very focused on something so that everything else that is going on around you, sometimes even your sense of the passing of time, is ignored. It is as if you create a bubble around you protecting your mind from thinking of anything else.

    Hypnosis

    Hypnosis is all about leading someone else into a state of trance. When in that state, they do not dismiss ideas that are suggested to them by the hypnotist. They allow those ideas to be processed and unconsciously evaluated. Being in this state makes it easier for suggestions to be accepted, although they will not do anything that they really do not want to do.

    Stage Hypnosis

    Stage hypnotists have clever ways of gathering people who would really like to show off on stage, putting them in a trance and then suggesting to them that they act in a stupid way, so that the audience can laugh at them. What many people do not realise is that the stage hypnotist cannot make them do anything that they don’t want to do – it is just their inhibitions seem to disappear.

    Hypnotherapy

    A hypnotherapist will lead their clients into a trance in order to suggest that they make changes. Clients usually have some sort of behaviour or feeling that they do not seem to be able to change. However, when they are in a trance, their sub-conscious mind finds it easier to make the changes it needs to in order to dismiss the issues that they are experiencing.

    And Finally …

    If you have an issue that you don’t seem to be able to handle on your own, you might like to Contact Me. I run my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet in Hampshire, as well as working online.

    Photo by AllGo on Unsplash

  • Why Can’t I Relax? A Hypnotherapist’s View

    Why Can’t I Relax? A Hypnotherapist’s View

    For many years now, I have taken people into a nice relaxed state in my hypnotherapist’s chair. People who suffer from anxiety, worry, depression … people who lack confidence or have been overwhelmed by their own particular situation. They all find they are able to lie back and completely relax in a nice hypnotic trance.

    So why can’t they do it at home, at work or in their everyday lives?

    What is Relaxation?

    We all have things that are going on in our lives. We think about what we’ve done and about what we are going to do. Just thinking about everything that you have to do today will get your brain starting to plan – what to do first, what you will need to do it, how long it might take and so on.

    Already, your brain is active and it will start to prepare your body for whatever it is you are thinking about. Your muscles start to tense, quite unconsciously, as your subconscious anticipates what you are going to do.

    So when you think about what you are going to do, or worry about what might happen at some point in the future, you are not relaxed.

    Likewise, if you ruminate about the past – thinking about all those things that went wrong, or at least not as you had hoped, your subconscious will start to tense up your muscles again, in anticipation that it might happen again.

    It is only when your mind is free from worry, free from regret, free from every little concern that you can truly relax. It’s at times when you are not thinking about the problems you might have in the future, or the problems you have had in the past that you can let your mind be free.

    Simply enjoying the moment, whether it’s getting absorbed in a book, walking in the woods, having a laugh with friends, free from everything except what is right in front of you right now – that is relaxation.

    Why Can’t I Be Relaxed All the Time?

    If you were totally relaxed all the time, you would be unlikely to achieve anything or learn anything.

    You have to think about problems you have had in the past, in order to learn from them. Once you have learnt from them, there is no need to think about them any more.

    You have to think about what you are going to be doing, and anticipate problems, otherwise you would not be able to plan to overcome them.

    There is a time to work and a time to relax. The trick is to get the right balance between them.

    How Can I Relax?

    Learning to relax takes time if you are not used to it. Set aside some time to relax each day. If you are not used to it, you may find all sorts of thoughts popping into your head. When this happens, just note them down so you can deal with them at an appropriate time and get back to your relaxation.

    Find something to do that you enjoy, and spend the time focusing your mind on the enjoyment of the activity – whether it is lying down on the sofa, going down the gym or enjoying a cup of coffee. Focus your attention on what you are doing in the here-and-now.

    And Finally …

    I help people who are overwhelmed with life. I use hypnotherapy to help them learn to relax and get their lives back in control again. I work at my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. If you want to talk about something, you can Contact Me for a chat.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Niccii Kearns

  • Hypnotherapy versus Anxiety

    Hypnotherapy versus Anxiety

    Hypnotherapy is not the only way to tackle anxiety; however, it is certainly an effective one. Other ways to combat this intrusive emotion are medication, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and self-help – but I am a hypnotherapist, so today I want to discuss the use of hypnotherapy.

    What a Hypnotherapist Can and Cannot Do

    Hypnotherapists are not magicians. They cannot make calmness appear like a rabbit out of a hat. They cannot make the anxiety disappear in a puff of smoke and then reappear on the other side of the stage dressed up as tranquility and peace. Hypnotherapists cannot make people change (especially if they don’t really want to).

    What hypnotherapists can do is to help the subconscious understand that being calm, peaceful and … let’s call it normal … is quite safe.

    The Anxiety Vicious Circle

    Anxiety is simply a reaction that the more primitive part of the brain has when it detects signs that the world might not be safe. It draws you attention to everything that might go wrong. It is a survival mechanism that is trying to make you be aware of what could endanger your life.

    The part of your brain that does this is very primitive. It is optimised to work in a world that is a lot more hazardous than the one we live in today (at least in most parts of the world). It does not care how you feel, it just cares about keeping you alive … and so it draws your attention to everything that might go wrong and makes you anxious.

    And of course, drawing your attention to things that might go wrong has the effect of making you even more nervous and stressed. That primitive part of your brain reacts to the stress and assumes that you are stressed because of something dangerous, and so repeats the pattern.

    And so the anxiety vicious circle builds.

    How Hypnotherapy Tackles Anxiety

    A hypnotherapist’s job is to help you break that vicious cycle. Through a process of discussion and hypnosis, the hypnotherapist leads their client into a thought pattern outside of the vicious circle. The client’s brain starts to build new pathways that do not follow the same route round and round that created the anxiety in the first place.

    Once these new neural pathways start to form, quite gradually, the client will find themselves able to take control of their thoughts and feelings. It does not happen immediately. Over a series of sessions, the client will gradually notice the changes.

    Typically, I see clients for around 5 to 10 weeks before they get themselves back into a position where they feel normal again. (Caveat – there are no guarantees of success in this timescale – it’s just what I normally expect to happen.)

    And Finally …

    Hypnotherapy is not the only way to tackle anxiety, you may want to try other methods as well. However, if you do want to experience the changes that hypnotherapy can help with, you can Contact Me. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

    Photo by Ann Danilina on Unsplash

  • Anxiety In Its Many Forms

    Anxiety In Its Many Forms

    Anxiety manifests itself in many different ways. Some people don’t realise that the cause of their problem are an excess of stress and anxiety. If any of these apply to you, don’t worry – you can get over it. There are many things you can do – hypnotherapy being just one of them.

    Anxiety suffers find that it pops up – sometimes in one way, sometimes in another – and often in many different ways at the same time:

    • There is that feeling of dread when they get up in the morning – a feeling that doesn’t seem to have a trigger. It is just an ordinary day, but when they wake, the feeling of dread is there.
    • Then there is the constant worry. Every little thing seems to be a potential for something that could go wrong. And then if that goes wrong, maybe something else will.
    • And for some, there is a trigger that kicks the anxiety off. Maybe an overwhelming feeling of nervousness when they are about to go and talk to their boss, fly on an airplane, give a talk, drive on a motorway, go on a date … and so on.
    • Some people have physical problems that they don’t even realise is associated with stress and anxiety – digestive problems like IBS, acid reflux and constipation – sexual problems such as loss of libido, erectile dysfunction or vaginismus – migraines, inability to sleep, eczema and so on. Almost any physical problem can be made worse by an excess of stress and anxiety.

    Too many people simply put up with these problems. They hide them from the world behind a mask – that forced smile they use to hold in their emotions. It is important to understand that you can do something about it. It is not permanent.

    I work as a hypnotherapist, every day I help people who are only just coping with anxiety and stress get back to being in control of their lives. It is possible to get over it. Other types of therapy can also be effective. You can get medication from your GP, and you can do a lot simply to help yourself.

    If you are interested in hypnotherapy, you can contact me and I would be pleased to have a chat. I work out of my clinic here in Fleet, Hampshire and also work online.

    Photo by Nicola Crichton at the Mental Health Foundation

  • Flying – Scary, Exciting or Just Plane Boring?

    Flying – Scary, Exciting or Just Plane Boring?

    Do you find flying scary? Are you filled with anxiety just thinking about it? How would you like to think about it instead – excited? Or maybe just bored? Yes, some people are simply bored by flights and can’t wait to land and get off the plane. Some people are excited and enjoy the thrill of the whole process.

    The people who come and see me are often not only filled with anxiety during the flight, but also in the days leading up to it, as they anticipate the flight itself. They realise that anxiety about flying is a little stupid, since flying is actually far safer than driving on a motorway. Nevertheless, they have developed an anxiety about flying that they don’t seem to have any control over.

    Where Does Fear of Flying Come From

    We all have a very primitive fight-or-flight reflex, which is where anxiety comes from. Everyone has different triggers for anxiety, and it manifests itself in many different ways. A common form of anxiety comes from a fear of flying. It is not that the primitive fight-or-flight centre in the brain understands anything about flying – it is simply that it has got things wrong.

    There are wildly different estimates for how many people are afraid of flying – estimates that range from 2.5% to 40% of the population. These are people whose holidays are ruined by the worry about the flight, or who avoid taking a flight altogether.

    If you are one of them – you might want to consider doing something about it. If you are just a bit nervous and can cope with it all – then maybe you can live with it. However, if you are avoiding flying or even thinking about cancelling your holidays, the read on.

    Hypnotherapy is one of several ways you can use to help get over the anxiety you feel about flying. I am going to tell you about hypnotherapy – but if hypnotherapy does not suit you – there are flying confidence courses as well as other types of therapy available. Don’t just live with it – recognise that you can do something about it.

    Hypnotherapy for the Anxious Flyer

    Anxiety comes from a primitive part of the brain that we have little control over. It contains all the automatic mechanisms we need to escape from danger or fight a foe – things that were very useful to humans when we lived in a more primitive and dangerous society.

    It is because we have little control over anxiety that hypnotherapy is a useful tool. It allows us to challenge the idea that flying is somehow scary that lies deep in that primitive part of the brain. It allows us to scramble up that idea and replace it with something more palatable, so that a flight can be relaxing and enjoyable – or even boring – all of which are preferable to the anxiety-ridden flights of your past.

    If you are considering hypnotherapy – you are best not leaving it to the last minute. A hypnotherapist cannot magic it all away in one quick session. Ideally, you should be thinking more in terms of three or four sessions in the couple of weeks before the flight.

    And Finally …

    I work with people with anxiety, in one of its many forms, using hypnotherapy from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. I help my clients get back in control of their lives and return to a state of normality. If you would like a chat about a fear of flying, or any other form of anxiety, I would have happy to listen and answer any questions you have about hypnotherapy. Just Contact Me and I would be pleased to arrange a chat on the phone.

    Photo by Eva Darron on Unsplash