Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Author: Tim

  • The Masking Dilemma

    The Masking Dilemma

    Do you hide your anxiety from your colleagues? Your friends? Even your family? Do you put on a brave face, force a smile, and pretend to laugh at their jokes. You might even do this when you are desperate to tell someone how you feel and what is going on inside.

    This is called “masking”. You may do it consciously or quite unconsciously, hiding your true feelings just to conform to social norms. Maybe you force yourself to make more eye contact than you really want to, or tell people around you, “I’m just fine”.

    Masking is exhausting. You spend your day living a lie, pretending you’re something that you’re not. You do this in order to fit in, so that people around you don’t feel uncomfortable, so that they don’t start avoiding you, so that you are accepted. But at the end of the day, you feel shattered.

    To Mask Or Not To Mask?

    You will need to create a balance between when you mask, when you mask just a bit, and when you don’t mask at all. You need to have the balance between fitting in with social norms and avoiding feeling exhausted all the time.

    Sad face half covered by a brightly coloured mask bearing a broad smile. AI generated

    When you are talking to someone important (say, going for a job interview), you probably want your full mask on. When talking with your family or friends who know the state of your mind, then you can go “half-masked” for a while. When you are talking with your therapist or you are on your own, you can go completely unmasked.

    Only you know the relationship you have with people around you, so only you can judge how masked you need to be.

    What To Do About The Masking Dilemma

    The first thing to do is to recognise when you are masking. Many anxiety-ridden people mask automatically, without consciously thinking about it. Being aware of your masking habit is useful. Start to develop an awareness of the situations when you mask and the people you mask in front of most often. Become aware of the times where you can let go of the mask and drop any pretence.

    Once you are aware of it, you can start to choose when you want to mask and when you don’t. You have more control over it. When you have more control over it, it can become less exhausting.

    If you realise that you have long periods (say at work) when you are masking all the time, it can be helpful to schedule in breaks when you can be on your own, letting the mask drop for a few minutes.

    If you find yourself avoiding company because masking is too exhausting, remember that positive interaction with other people is very good for counteracting anxiety, so consider scheduling in more time with friends.

    Masking is all a balancing act. You have to find the best point on the scale for you.

    And Finally …

    I help people with anxiety, using hypnotherapy to help them to get back to normality and free themselves from the masking dilemma. You can Contact Me if you want to ask questions about how it all works. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Photo by Sean Nkomo on pexels

  • “It Happens” – How Do You React When Something Goes Wrong?

    A bearded, long-haired man is running through a city street. A man runs up to him, wanting to talk. The bearded man, still running, steps on some dog excrement, but just keeps on running calmly on. The man expresses surprise that he remains so calm. The bearded man replies in a calm and neutral voice, “It happens!”

    You may remember this scene from the film “Forrest Gump”.

    Bad things happen to people all the time, things that are totally out of their control. Another car clips their wing mirror, the train they were planning to catch is cancelled, someone spills a cup of coffee on their clothes, or they tread on some dog excrement in the road … it happens. We know these things happen to us and to everyone else.

    What effects our stress levels (and consequentially our anxiety) is not the bad thing that happens to us, it’s how we react to it. We can get angry or frustrated. We might be thinking, “Why does this happen to me?” We can allow the incident (which was entirely out of our control) stress us out.

    But if you are like Forrest Gump, you can say to yourself calmly and resignedly, “It happens”, shrug your shoulders, and then simply get on with life. You have to deal with the consequences of whatever happened to you of course. You may have to get your wing mirror fixed, change your travel plans, get through the day with a coffee stain on your shirt, or clean the dog excrement off your shoe, but you don’t have to get upset by it. It happened … so deal with the consequences and move on.

    You see, you have a lot more control over your emotions than you might think. You really do not have to angry and frustrated by the cancelled train if you don’t want to. If you are used to getting angry when things go wrong, then it may be difficult to start. But you can do it. And when you do do it, you will find yourself a lot less stressed in life.

    And Finally …

    If you find yourself getting too stressed and angry by the things that have happened to you in your life, and if anxiety starts to take over, you may like to consider hypnotherapy. If you do consider it, then Contact Me and I will be happy to answer your questions. I work from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

  • Hypnotherapy in the New Year

    Hypnotherapy in the New Year

    I am excited to be back seeing my clients again after a couple of weeks break. This morning, however, the temperature was minus 5 and there was a light covering of snow, making the paths quite slippy. I went out to get the heating in the clinic on, and brushed a path through the slippy snow.

    An hour later and the clinic was still not up to a temperature that I would call “comfortable”. Fortunately, my first client was on Zoom, rather than seeing me in person. By the end of the session, my clinic was feeling toasty, ready for my first face-to-face client.

    I love my job. I love seeing clients move from a state of not knowing how to cope with their anxiety, to a state where that anxiety disappears into the background. It is a pleasure to witness the changes little by little, until they reach the point where my clients no longer need me.

    If you (or any of your family) are struggling with anxiety in any one of its many forms, I would be pleased to hear from you. Just Contact Me and I will be glad to have a short phone consultation so that you can decide whether you want to give hypnotherapy a chance to prove itself.

  • Solution Focused Hypnotherapy Provides a 90% Improvement Rate

    Solution Focused Hypnotherapy Provides a 90% Improvement Rate

    Preliminary findings in a research project examining the effectiveness of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy has shown a 90% improvement rate in clients’ main concerns.

    There is only one hypnotherapeutic treatment currently approved by NICE (the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence in the UK) – that is gut-directed hypnotherapy for IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). This does not mean that hypnotherapy is not extraordinarily effective for other issues, it is just that gut-directed hypnotherapy is the only type of hypnotherapy that has undergone large-scale scientific trials.

    But now there is a new kid on the block in terms of scientific hypnotherapy trials – Solution Focused Hypnotherapy.

    The scientific trial has, so far, recorded the improvements reported by 192 people attending solution focused hypnotherapy sessions. Each participant in the trial was asked to scale their main concerns that they wished to address prior to the sessions starting, then again after 4 weeks and 8 weeks. Finally, they were followed up after a month after completing the sequence of hypnotherapy sessions. Results show a 90% improvement rate in clients’ main concerns.

    What Is Solution Focused Hypnotherapy?

    Solution Focused Hypnotherapy focuses on the future. Unlike some traditional hypnotherapy, it does not attempt to dig up the past and find the cause of the problem. It is not concerned with where the problem came from, only where the client is going to.

    Using a modern psychological approach, Solution Focused Hypnotherapy asks the client to imagine a future where their problem is gone, or at least reduced. When a hypnotic trance is brought into play, the subconscious mind can then rewire so that it better behaves as the client wants to behave.

    The Future of Hypnotherapy

    The trial reported above is the beginning of an on-going experiment to demonstrate and prove the efficacy of solution focused hypnotherapy, using accepted scientific research practices. The results have not yet been formally published. However, there is a plan to ensure that a paper is written, reviewed by independent experts and published in an appropriate scientific journal with these preliminary results.

    For advocates of solution focused hypnotherapy, like myself, this is exciting news. It is the first step in getting hypnotherapy to be more widely recognised as a highly effective means of addressing many mental health issues. I will be writing further blogs on this subject once the results have been formally published.

    And Finally …

    If you would like to experience the effectiveness of solution focused hypnotherapy for yourself, please Contact Me and I will be pleased to talk to you. I work out of my clinic here in Fleet, Hampshire, as well as working online.

    References

    NICE Recommendations on Hypnotherapy for IBS

    https://www.nice.org.uk/researchrecommendation/psychological-interventions-are-the-psychological-interventions-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt-hypnotherapy-and-psychological-therapy-all-equally-effective-in-the-management-of-irritable-bowel-syndrome-ibs-symptoms-either-as-first-line-therapies-in-pri

    Solution Focused Hypnotherapy

    https://www.afsfh.com/solution-focused-hypnotherapy/#sfh
    https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/approach/solution-focused-hypnotherapy.html#whatissolutionfocusedhypnotherapy

    Photo by cottonbro studio on pexels

  • Surviving the Anxiety of a Family Christmas

    Surviving the Anxiety of a Family Christmas

    It’s Christmas. You’re with the rest of your wider family. The drinks are flowing – maybe a little too liberally. Do you all get on? Do you always end up arguing? Do you look on embarrassed as some of your family are behaving in a way that you wouldn’t dream of? Is a family Christmas something you look forward to, or do you dread it?

    For some Christmas is a happy time, but there are plenty of people who find it a time filled with anxiety – dreading the argument that they know they will have with their cousin, horrified at their sister-in-law’s drinking habits, and just waiting for their auntie to make passive aggressive comments about the present they got.

    Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?

    It all starts in the primitive part of our brain called the Limbic System. This part of our brain is responsible for our survival. It is not very clever, it just finds a pattern of behaviour that seems to work and repeats it.

    Think of a squirrel – it is looking through the leaf litter on the forest floor for something to eat when you come wandering along the path. The squirrel does not stop to think how dangerous you might be, it just does what it always does – it runs to the nearest tree and climbs, staying on the opposite side of the trunk to you. It’s life is ruled by its limbic system and so it always does the same thing – the thing that it believes is going to keep it alive.

    Our own limbic system (which gets more in control after a few drinks) is on high alert at the Christmas party. The party is not part of its routine, so it is on high alert for potential survival threats.

    When your cousin wanders over to say hello, the limbic system goes on even higher alert, remembering the argument you had last year. It also knows that whatever you did last year seemed to work – you survived – and that’s all it cares about. It does not care how you feel about things or whether you are having a good time. Its only job is to make sure you survive. So it encourages you to repeat the argument you had last year

    And so your limbic system raises your anxiety, and creates anger, just like it did last year and the year before that. Before you know it, you are in a full blown argument following exactly the same pattern as you always do. You go away from the party angry, with anxiety levels really stirred up, vowing never to talk to your cousin again.

    … And your limbic system has won.

    What Can We Do Instead?

    You have a clever brain. You know that the Christmas family party is not life-threatening – even though your limbic system does not. You need to keep that intelligent part of your brain in charge.

    So remember: There are things you can control and things you cannot control. Do the best with the things you can control, and accept that things are going to happen that you cannot control.

    • You cannot control your sister-in-law’s drinking habits as she pours the drink down her throat straight from the bottle, but you can control whether or not it upsets you.
    • You cannot control your cousin when they say something controversial just to get you riled up, but you can control whether or not you choose to respond.
    • You cannot control your auntie’s passive aggressive comments about the present you got her, but you can chose whether to feel bad about it, or just laugh it off.

    You see you cannot change other people’s behaviour, what they say, their beliefs, or what they think of you – but you can change your own reaction to these things. Your goal is to end the party without adding to your stress and anxiety. And if you can, enjoy the your time together too.

    And Finally …

    After the Christmas break, if you find your anxiety levels are a bit out of control, if you want to get back in control of your emotions, if you find you cannot manage this on your own, then you might want to consider hypnotherapy. I would be happy to have a chat if you want to Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

    Photo by Maurício Mascaro on Pexels

  • Are You SAD? Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

    Are You SAD? Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

    As the days grow shorter and the skies turn grey, many of us feel a natural shift in mood. But for some, this seasonal change is more than just the “winter blues”—it’s a condition known (somewhat ironically) as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). SAD is a type of depression, typically recurring each year, starting in the late autumn or early winter and remitting during the spring and throughout the summer.

    What Exactly is SAD?

    SAD is formally recognised as a major depressive disorder with a seasonal pattern. While less common, some people experience a reverse pattern, with depressive episodes occurring during the spring and summer. The most common form, however, is the winter-pattern SAD.

    The Science Behind the Seasonal Shift

    The cause of SAD is strongly linked to the decrease in sunlight during the winter. Experts believe this reduction in light can disrupt the body’s internal biological clock, or circadian rhythm, leading to a misalignment.

    • Melatonin Levels: The body produces the sleep-regulating hormone melatonin at higher levels in the dark. The increased darkness in winter can lead to an overproduction of melatonin, making you feel excessively sleepy and lethargic.
    • Serotonin Imbalance: Serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects mood, may be imbalanced. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin levels, triggering depressive symptoms.
    • Vitamin D Deficiency: Sunlight is essential for the production of Vitamin D, which plays a role in serotonin activity. Lower levels of Vitamin D in winter may also contribute to SAD.

    Key Symptoms of Winter-Pattern SAD

    SAD symptoms tend to mimic those of major depression.

    • Mood: Feeling depressed, hopeless, or worthless nearly every day
    • Energy: Low energy (lethargy), feeling sluggish, and increased fatigue
    • Sleep: Oversleeping (hypersomnia), difficulty waking up
    • Appetite: Increased appetite and carbohydrate cravings
    • Social: Loss of interest in activities; social withdrawal

    What Do You Do To Manage SAD?

    Lifestyle Adjustments

    • Simple changes to your routine can help mitigate symptoms:
    • Maximise Sunlight Exposure: Take walks outside, especially in the morning.
    • Exercise Regularly: Any physical activity helps improve your mood.
    • Eat well: Focus on a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables and lean proteins.
    • Prioritise Sleep Hygiene: Maintain a consistent sleep schedule to help maintain your circadian rhythm.

    Light Therapy (Phototherapy)

    Light therapy involves sitting a set distance from a special device called a light box, which emits a bright, full-spectrum light for about 20–30 minutes each morning. The bright light mimics natural outdoor light, helping to regulate your circadian rhythm. It has to be a light box specifically designed for full-spectrum light – Don’t use a normal indoor lamp or a sunlamp.

    Medication

    If your doctor diagnoses you with SAD, they may prescribe antidepressants that you start taking from Autumn until the Spring. It is thought that these medications work by balancing serotonin levels in the brain.

    Therapy

    Although there is a physical cause of SAD, talking therapies can help. Hypnotherapy and CBT can both be used to help clients with SAD.

    And Finally …

    SAD is a real condition. You can get a diagnosis for SAD if you want help from your doctor. However, large numbers of people develop SAD-like symptoms but are not bad enough to received a diagnosis.

    Whether or not you have been diagnosed with SAD – hypnotherapy can help. I operate my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. If you would like to Contact Me, I would be happy to talk to you about what hypnotherapy can do for you.

    Photo by David Kanigan on Pexels