Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Tag: #stress

  • Escape the Worry Whirlpool: How to Break the Anxiety Trap and Find Your Calm

    Escape the Worry Whirlpool: How to Break the Anxiety Trap and Find Your Calm

    Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a worry whirlpool, swirling down a drain of “what ifs” and negative thoughts? Anxiety, that persistent hum of unease, can trap us in this mental maelstrom, stealing our peace and joy.

    But fear not, fellow navigators of the emotional seas! You don’t have to stay adrift. Here’s how to break free from the anxiety trap and find your calm centre:

    1. Acknowledge the Whirlpool: The first step is awareness. Notice your anxious thoughts and worries without judgment. Are they circling around past events, future uncertainties, or imagined scenarios? Once you acknowledge them, you can start to challenge their power.
    2. Move Away from the Turbulent Waters: Stop dwelling on the unpleasant things of life: worrying about what has happened; thinking of all the things that could go wrong in the future; taking to heart all the horrible things that are going on in the world that you can’t do anything about? Dwelling on the unpleasant things of life drags you further into the anxiety whirlpool.
    3. Seek Calmer Waters: Start noticing the good things in life. Give yourself a pat on the back when you get something right. Get yourself excited about the things that could go well for you. Think about what you are grateful for.
    4. Steer Towards the Middle Way: You cannot ignore the bad stuff that is happening in the world. You cannot avoid bad things happening to you. You have to deal with it – but you don’t have to dwell on it. Find yourself the middle way – the middle way that lets you deal with the bad stuff only for as long as you need to, while you focus most of your time on the good stuff.
    5. One Stroke at a Time: Remember, getting out of the whirlpool takes time and effort, but you can do it – just take one stroke at a time; take it day by day.
    6. Get Help if You Need To: Friends and family can help – people to talk to who will listen. If you need professional help, you will still have to invest time and effort, but you will get out of the whirlpool faster.

    I help people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them get back in control of their lives and get rid of unwanted symptoms. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as working online.

    Photo by Erik Mclean on pexels

  • How Much Does Hypnotherapy-for-Anxiety Cost?

    How Much Does Hypnotherapy-for-Anxiety Cost?

    Two of the most frequently asked questions about hypnotherapy on Google are:

    • How much does a hypnotherapy session cost?
    • How many sessions will I need for anxiety?

    These are important questions, but probably not as important as, “How much will my life be changed once I get back in control of myself, and how much is that worth to me?” First, let me answer the questions directly.

    How much does a hypnotherapy session cost?

    I currently charge £75 for an hour’s session. This is typical in the South East of England. There are hypnotherapists that charge £150, and some that charge as low as £50. Some give a free or reduced rate initial session.

    Aside: Many hypnotherapists (including myself) charge a higher rate for a quit-smoking session (I charge £250 for a 2-hour session). Why? For quit-smoking hypnotherapy to work, you have to be really committed to the process to start with. When you have to pay a lot, you are committing yourself. And of course, when you quit smoking, you make all the money back again very quickly.

    How many sessions will I need for anxiety?

    It all depends! I know that this is not the answer you are looking for, but it is nevertheless true. Typically, I see clients with anxiety for between 5 and 10 sessions, and this is quite typical of other hypnotherapists.

    However, there are no guarantees. I have had some clients who I have seen for 15 or 20 sessions, and others for whom all anxiety issues have gone after 2 sessions. I have given up trying to guess how many sessions a client will take, because I often get it wrong. My advice would be to be wary of any hypnotherapist who gives a guarantee of the number of sessions you will need.

    To add to the problem in answering this question, hypnotherapists vary in their abilities – even with the same level of training and experience. Some will typically take longer than others.

    A more important question to ask

    Of course, it is important to have an estimate of how much your are going to have to pay for your hypnotherapy treatment for your anxiety. There is another really important question to ask yourself. That is:

    • How much will my life be changed once I get back in control of myself, and how much is that worth to me?

    This is a question that only you can answer. How much is getting rid of anxiety actually worth to you? Indeed, is it even possible to put a monetary value on it?

    What other questions should you ask?

    Other questions you should ask before engaging a hypnotherapist are:

    Are they qualified? Are they insured? Do they follow best practice?

    The easiest way to answer this is to check that they are registered with the official registers of hypnotherapists. In the UK, you should check the National Council for Hypnotherapy (NCH) or the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapists (AfSFH).

    What do other people think?

    Check out testimonials and references on independent sites such as Google My Business.

    Do I get on with my hypnotherapist?

    This is important – the more you like your hypnotherapist, the quicker things are likely to work. Trusting your hypnotherapist is important. And the only way you can find this out is by going to see them. Most hypnotherapists will be pleased to give your a free 10 minute chat on the phone, but the real test is the first session with them. You have to put your hand in your pocket and book in for an initial consultation – but don’t be afraid to walk away and find someone else if you don’t feel happy with the first session.

    References

    National Council for Hypnotherapy (NCH)
    https://www.hypnotherapists.org.uk/therapist-finder/

    Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapists (AfSFH)
    https://www.afsfh.com/hypnotherapists-postcodes/

    Google My Business
    Go to Google and enter “Google My Business” followed by the name of the hypnotherapy clinic. For example, “Google my business Tim Maude Hypnotherapy”

    Photo by Colin Watts on Unsplash

  • How full is your stress bucket?

    How full is your stress bucket?

    Our “stress bucket” is a metaphor for how we manage stress. The idea is that the fuller our stress bucket, the more those negative anxiety-related symptoms start appearing. The stress bucket can be filled up by things like work, relationships, finances, and health problems. Generally speaking, any negative thoughts are likely to add to the stress bucket.

    If our stress bucket gets too full, it can lead to physical and emotional problems associated with anxiety. These problems can include headaches, muscle tension, sleep problems, digestive problem, excessive worry, loss of libido and depression … as well as all sorts of other symptoms.

    It is important to remember that everyone’s stress bucket is different. Some people have a larger stress bucket than others, so some people are better at managing stress than others. Some people manage their lives with high amounts of stress everyday; whereas others find it difficult to cope with even a small amount. It is not important how big your stress bucket is. However, you do need to learn how much stress you can cope with while still living a happy and productive life.

    In order to avoid the symptoms of anxiety, we all need to lead our lives according to the size of our stress bucket. If we find the stress bucket is too full, we need to make adjustments to our lives. These adjustments can be big (like changing jobs) or small (like cutting down on social media use) – and it all depends on what is creating the stress in the first place.

    It is useful to learn techniques for reducing stress. Generally living a healthy lifestyle – eating healthily, getting enough sleep and exercising and so on – all these will help.

    I recommend to people that they get to know what their capacity for stress is, and adjust their lives accordingly. If you have difficulty doing this on your own, you can seek help through therapy or medication. If you want to give hypnotherapy a try, do contact me for a chat.

    References

    Articles on the Stress Bucket

    https://mentalhealth-uk.org/blog/the-stress-bucket/
    https://www.hey.nhs.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/OHC_StressBucket.pdf

    Photo by Riin Aisent on Unsplash

  • Looking After Your Own Mental Health

    Looking After Your Own Mental Health

    Family Stress and Anxiety

    The people I meet with anxiety are invariably stressed. I come across many people in my clinic who just have too much to do – often looking after their family. Whether it is earning money to keep a roof over their heads or organising the kids to make sure they have breakfast before going to school, it all adds stress. Too much stress can give rise to growing anxiety.

    We cannot all live stress-free lives. Stress is a natural part of living. Stress is needed to achieve things – even if it’s only a small amount. But small amounts of stress add up. When you have responsibilities for children and other close relatives, you feel the stress more intently.

    Everyone is different

    Everyone is different, everyone handles stress in a different way, and everyone has a different capacity for stress before anxiety sets in. You have to judge for yourself how much stress you can cope with in your life.

    How do you know if you are too stressed?

    When you are too stressed, the primitive part of your brain starts to get a hold. You are more likely to have those moments of frustration; you might find yourself snapping at people (especially your family – the ones you love); you might start developing minutes or even hours of anxiety or helplessness. When you start to become overwhelmed and those negative emotions of anxiety, depression and anger start to come into play – that is the time to take charge.

    The trap of ever-increasing stress

    One problem with being part of a family is that you are constantly negotiating about who does what. Children are natural negotiators – sometimes it’s easier to tidy the kids’ rooms yourself than to get them to do it. And so it become very easy to take on just one more job. Your day might be full, but when the job of organising a weekend away comes along, you somehow fit it in … and when you do go away for the weekend, you somehow find all the jobs you would have done that weekend and fit them elsewhere. We can suffer from a drip-feed of increased jobs that stress us.

    Your mental health comes first

    When you are sitting in a plane, waiting for the flight, you will watch the safety demonstration. One thing they always tell you is … if the oxygen masks come down, put your own mask on before you help someone else. This always seems counter-intuitive. If you have your own child with you, your instinct is to help them first – but the instructions say you should put on your own mask first. Of course, we know the reason for this – you can’t help others if you are in trouble yourself.

    You need to look after your mental health and, bizarre though it seems, it is sometimes important to look after yourself first before you look after the needs of your family.

    Is stress a problem?

    Increasing amounts of stress is only a problem if it’s a problem. If you can cope with it all – fine. Hundreds of people cope with a lot of stress and don’t need to do anything about it. Just be aware that the ever-increasing stress trap can creep up on you.

    Everyone is different. The only person who can determine if you have too much stress is you.

    What do I do if stress is too much?

    You need to prioritise your mental health. Taking time for yourself to relax, go for a run, have a day in the spa, go a play football with your mates, or whatever it is you need to take a break – this is the oxygen mask in the plane. This is what you need to prioritise over the other demands on your life.

    And you might have to say, “no” to people who ask you to do something. You might have to delegate your jobs to someone else for a while. You might have to just stop doing some of the things you are doing, and ask yourself, “Which is more important, doing this – or my own mental health.”

    If you are having difficulty coping with stress and anxiety on your own, you may like to give hypnotherapy a go. From my clinic here in Fleet in Hampshire, I work with people who are only just coping with stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them regain control of their lives.

    Photo by Logan Stone on Unsplash

  • Phobias – the most common form of anxiety

    Phobias – the most common form of anxiety

    It is estimated that around 10 million people in the UK has a phobia, that is, more than one person in every seven. Some phobias are simple and some are complex. For some people a phobia is a slight annoyance; for others it dominates every aspect of their lives.

    What is a phobia?

    A phobia is an irrational fear of something. Someone with arachnophobia will feel an uncontrollable fear and anxiety when they see a spider. There is no rational reason for this fear; the spider is almost always harmless, but even so, the fear is real.

    Some phobias are simple. The simple (albeit irrational) fear that comes over them when they see something: spiders, frogs, cows, birds, clowns, lightening and so on. Other phobias are to do with doing something – a fear of flying, having a vaccination, going to a hospital, talking on a phone, vomiting and so on. And then there are the more complex phobias such as fear of going to somewhere new, or fear of social occasions.

    Almost anything can be the subject of phobias. Some unusual ones that have been recorded include a fear of belly buttons, string, mirrors and peanut butter (and almost anything you can think of).

    What is the phobic reaction?

    When someone with a phobia encounters the object of their fear, they experience genuine fear – that is, the same fear that you would have if your life was in danger. It is usually a totally irrational fear, and so many phobics are often embarrassed by their reaction. It is embarrassing because it is irrational and because the people around them are not fearful.

    Where do phobias come from?

    Many people like to know where their phobia comes from. Knowing this helps them rationalise why they have the fear, and it helps them explain it to others.

    Some phobias are picked up in childhood by the young developing brain as it learns by copying reactions from the parents. If one or both of the parents have a phobia of spiders, say, the child may well pick up on that fear (quite unconsciously) and develop a similar phobia themselves.

    Other phobias are developed by a single incident. For example, if a child is by a pond looking at the frogs and falls in, then mother rushes over panicking and drags the child out, then the child picks up on the mother’s fear and associates it with the frog, and so develops a phobia of frogs.

    What happens inside the brain of a phobic?

    Within the brain, fear is created by the fight-flight-freeze centre – the amygdala. The amygdala is a very primitive part of the brain. It is not clever and is incapable of working out what fears are rational and what are not. Nor is it capable of coming up with a different reaction. All the amygdala does is check what it did last time it the person encountered a spider / frog / needle etc and to repeat it.

    The amygdala’s fear response overrides the rational response. The thinking part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) finds it upsetting that it experiences fear when logically there is nothing to fear – and in some people, the prefrontal cortex starts to make up stories to rationalise the fear, even though the story may also be nonsense. For example, someone with a fear of birds could start to believe that the birds are plotting against them.

    How do you fix a phobia?

    Like all mental health issues, a phobia is only a problem if it’s a problem. Many phobics live quite normal lives except for an occasional hit of anxiety when they see the object of their fear. If this does not happen often; if they can live with it, then it’s not a problem.

    If it’s a small problem, then you could just wait and see if you grow out of it. Older people are less likely to have phobias, telling us that a lot of people with phobias when they were young grew out of them.

    If you have a phobia that really effects your life badly (and believe me, some phobias can be devastating), then you should consider therapy. Two common forms of therapy that treat phobias are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CPD) and Hypnotherapy.

    Phobias are quite fixable, and you can get treatment that will lead to the fear going away completely or at least reducing by a point where it become tolerable.

    What happens during CPD treatment of phobias?

    The CPD treatment of a phobia is likely to include gradual exposure to the object of fear. For example, the arachnophobic may first be shown a picture of a spider from a long way off for a brief second. Once they can tolerate that, the picture will be shown for longer and a bit nearer. Once that is tolerated, they move on to watching a video of a spider, and so on. Each time getting closer to being able to tolerate a real live spider in close proximity.

    What happens during hypnotherapy treatment of phobias?

    In a hypnotherapy treatment of phobias, the hypnotherapist will spend some time just talking to you – getting to know you and allowing you to get used to them. They may ask you to talk about your phobia, but don’t be surprised if they discuss other things too. Then they will lead you into a relaxing trance and ask you to imagine things. They will ask you to imagine some fantasy – some might say farcical – events involving the object of your fear, in a way that is calm and relaxed – even comical.

    If you have a phobia that is dominating your life and you want help dealing with it, you might like to consider contacting me. My hypnotherapy clinic is in Fleet in Hampshire.

    Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

  • How does Hypnotherapy Help With Anxiety?

    How does Hypnotherapy Help With Anxiety?

    Hypnotherapy is one of several therapies that can help if you suffer from anxiety. I see clients with anxiety, and it usually takes only a few weeks for them to regain control of their lives. So how does hypnotherapy actually work?

    First, you need to put aside any notion of stage hypnosis. Hypnotherapy does not work by me snapping my fingers and suddenly everything has changed. As a hypnotherapist, I cannot make you do things that you don’t want to do. All I can do is lead you down a path – and you can follow if you want to.

    Anxiety and the Brain

    Anxiety comes from a primitive part of your brain – the fight-flight-freeze centre – that you are not consciously aware of until the anxiety hits you. Somehow it has programmed itself incorrectly so that it produces anxiety when there is no need to be anxious. Hypnotherapy is all about encouraging that part of the brain to rewire itself.

    That primitive part of the brain is more active the more stress you carry. When you have big stresses in your life, it takes a while for the brain to deal with it. It’s like you are carrying round a big bucket of stress. Hypnotherapy is also all about emptying that stress bucket.

    We say that the brain is plastic. That is, it constantly reshapes itself and readjusts as we give it new information and new experiences. Some changes happen when the new experience is happening, but a lot of those changes happen afterwards when the brain consolidates its memories. And this consolidation happens when the brain is not busy with doing other things – when we are asleep for example.

    So how does Hypnotherapy Help?

    So … back to the original question … how does hypnotherapy help with anxiety? When you are in a trance, the brain finds itself in a quiet relaxed state and uses the time to sort out some of your memories and experiences. In particular, it will start to rewire itself towards a position that is uppermost in your mind. So if the hypnotherapist has discussed an anxiety-free future, full of hope, then the brain will start to rewire itself towards that goal.

    Hypnotherapy helps people with anxiety in a variety of ways. Some of my clients notice that things have started to change after a couple of sessions. Others are with me for five or ten sessions, and then one day they turn up and they are suddenly a different person. Everyone is different, and I am always interested in how my clients experience the change in their anxiety levels.

    If you need help getting your anxiety under control, then you might like to experience the benefits of hypnotherapy. I operate my hypnotherapy clinic here in Fleet, Hampshire.

    Photo by Oscar Keys on Unsplash