Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Category: Relationship problems

  • Dealing With The Emotion That Arises From Distressed Relationships

    Dealing With The Emotion That Arises From Distressed Relationships

    Nearly one in five couples in the UK are in a “distressed relationship” (See Ref 1) – one in which there are frequent arguments, thoughts of separation and regret over getting together in the first place. The stress that this puts on the couple is immense. For some, this leads to a lot of anxiety, anger, feeling of inadequacy and other negative emotions.

    Now, the accepted wisdom for a distressed relationship is to see a couples counsellor: someone who can help the couple work through their issues and come to a more satisfactory ending – be it a more tolerant and happier life together, or separation. This helps with the relationship, but does not necessarily deal with the anxiety that one or both the pair may have to deal with.

    How Hypnotherapy Can Help With The Emotions In Distressed Relationships

    Let’s start with what hypnotherapy does not do. It does not help sort out what has gone wrong with the relationship. It does not work with the couple together. It just works with one of the pair to deal with their ability to deal with the emotional upheaval. It does not take sides in the relationship. It just helps sort out the emotional turmoil.

    There are many negative emotions that arise from a distressed relationship. For example:

    • Uncontrolled anger when having an argument
    • Regret over the situation they find themselves in
    • Fear about the next outburst and argument
    • Feelings of inadequacy when the partner talks about breaking up
    • Jealousy that is still there after accepting a partner back after they had an affair

    These are just some of the negative emotions that make it difficult to think straight, and so make it difficult to find a way forward.

    Hypnotherapy can help sufferers get more in control of their emotions, and so deal with the distressed relationship in a calmer and more rational manner.

    What To Do If You Need Help

    If you find yourself in a distressed relationship and want help dealing with the emotional stress that you find yourself under, you might like to consider hypnotherapy.

    I have helped people with all the emotional issues arising from a distressed relationship listed above, with the result that my clients have been able to control their own emotions and so deal with the situation in a calmer and more controlled manner.

    If you would like to talk to me about this, or any other matter, Contact Me and I will be happy to have a free 10-minute consultation to answer any questions you might have. You can also book in for hypnotherapy with me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire, and also work online.

    References

    Ref 1: 2016 survey by the Understanding Society
    https://www.understandingsociety.ac.uk/research/publications/publication-523689/

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  • Recovering From the Stress of a Breakup

    Recovering From the Stress of a Breakup

    Breaking up from a partner is one of the most stressful things that can happen to us. This stress can lead to increasing levels of anxiety and other negative emotions. Hypnotherapy cannot sort out the practical problems of breaking up, but it can help you regain control, and calm the emotions right down so as to be able to deal with the practical matters of the breakup a little easier.

    The following are based on real case scenarios that I have dealt with. Details have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals concerned:

    Anonymised Case Study 1

    Albert discovered that his wife was cheating on him with a man at work. He felt angry and humiliated. His feelings of self-worth as a husband were at rock bottom. They separated and started divorce proceedings. The divorce constantly reminded him of the humiliation he had gone through and he started to have an almost constant feeling of anxiety. After a series of hypnotherapy sessions, he gradually got his anxiety under control and he was able to deal with the solicitors and the divorce proceedings in a calmer, more relaxed manner.

    Anonymised Case Study 2

    Beatrice had been with her partner for years and was growing increasingly dissatisfied with the relationship. She finally decided that it was time to leave her partner, and told her that she was breaking up with her. Her partner was angry about the breakup. Beatrice started to feel guilty even though she knew the partnership would never work in the long term. She started hypnotherapy to help her deal with this dilemma and the feelings of guilt that were giving rise to depression. She was eventually able to get rid of the feelings of guilt and square things with her ex-partner properly. They parted on friendly terms.

    Anonymised Case Study 3

    Christine discovered her partner with another woman. After an angry breakup and several months apart, they decided to get back together again. Christine was certain that he would never do anything like that again, but was still filled with uncontrollable feelings of doubt and jealousy when he met other women at work or socially. She found herself constantly challenging him about what he was doing, and that put an increasing strain on the relationship. After a series of hypnotherapy sessions, she regained control of her feelings and was able to discuss things properly with him.

    And finally …

    As illustrated in these case studies, a breakup in a relationship can give rise to a range of damaging emotions. Hypnotherapy can help people in this situation with the emotions that arise, leaving them better able to deal with the more practical consequences of the breakup, and then better able to rebuild their lives afterwards.

    Of course, other types of therapy can help too, but if you want to see how well hypnotherapy can help you to regain control of your emotions following a breakup, you can Contact Me. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online. I would be happy to talk to you to answer any questions you might have about how I can help.

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  • Breaking Up is Hard To Do … and Also Anxiety-Inducing

    Breaking Up is Hard To Do … and Also Anxiety-Inducing

    Breaking up a relationship can be very stressful and can lead to anxiety. This is particularly true when your ex-partner was at fault, as it feels so unfair that they caused the break-up and now you are suffering because of what they did.

    The sudden changes in life that a breakup can create are stressful enough, but a toxic breakup can seem more than one can bear.

    • If your ex left you for someone else, you can feel rejected and it is a massive punch-in-the-guts to know that they chose someone else over you.
    • If your ex was gaslighting you, you might feel that you don’t really understand what actually happened
    • If your partner cheated on you and then asked to come back, you will probably sense alarm bells going off every time they even glance at anyone else.
    • If your ex is not being reasonable over the divorce settlement / separation agreement, you are likely to have a lot of anxiety not knowing how it will resolve itself.
    • If you and your ex have children, you are likely to be worried about how the breakup will effect them.

    The problem is that you are no longer entirely in control of the situation. Your partner or ex-partner controls part of the break-up and probably has a different idea of what they want out of it.

    It is a very hard situation to be in, but you should remember that you can only control what you can control. You will not get an ideal result in the end, and you will have to live with that. So look to what you can do with the situation you are in and (as far as you are able) put the past behind you. It’s time to create a new beginning.

    I see a lot of people suffering from anxiety after going through a messy breakup. I cannot patch up the relationship, but I can help people cope with the situation and move forward.

    If you are struggling getting through a rough time in your relationship and you cannot cope with it all on your own, you may like to consider hypnotherapy. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and would be happy to have a chat and let you know what I can do to help. You can Contact Me whenever you are ready to do so, and then take your time to decide whether you want to see me for hypnotherapy, cope on your own, or try something else.

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