Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Author: Tim

  • Worried About What Other People Think … or Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching

    Worried About What Other People Think … or Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching

    Some of the people I see in my hypnotherapy clinic have anxiety because they are constantly worried about what other people are thinking about them. They worry that the strangers they pass on the street are judging them. They are constantly concerned about other people’s views on their looks or behaviour.

    And of course, there are clear logical flaws in this line of thinking:

    1. None of us have any idea what the strangers in the street are thinking. We are not mind-readers. We cannot tell what is going through their heads.
    2. No-one I have talked to ever looks at all the strangers they pass and judges them. It is highly unlikely that anyone we pass will be casting judgement.
    3. Even if someone were to judge us as we passed them by, it makes no difference to our lives, or that of our friends and family what a stranger thinks.

    Despite this, when someone develops this type of anxiety, this worry about what other people think about them, it is difficult to shift the thought pattern. Worry about other people’s thinking gets embedded into our subconscious. It becomes a pattern that is repeated again and again.

    So can you dance like nobody’s watching, or are you too anxious about what other people might think? Or maybe, you are somewhere in between.

    Hypnotherapy can help you get over anxiety issues like this. I work with people with anxiety issues in my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire. If you would like to Contact Me, you are most welcome to find out what hypnotherapy can do for you.

    Photo courtesy of Mental Health Foundation / Amy Ireland

  • Sleep: Nature’s Anti-Anxiety Medication

    Sleep: Nature’s Anti-Anxiety Medication

    “Sleep on it.” This is what is sometimes said when something is annoying us, or we cannot decide what to do. Just go to bed and sleep, and somehow, when you wake up, things seem a bit better. If you have ever experienced this natural phenomenon, you may remember how you think a bit more clearly in the morning. Thinking is less fogged by the stress and anxiety you had the night before.

    REM Sleep

    REM sleep (rapid eye movement sleep) is one of the four main stages of sleep (the others are known as NREM or non-REM sleep). During a full night of sleep, we will normally get a couple of hours of REM sleep. This is the stage where most of our memory consolidation and emotional processing happens. It is also the time when our narrative dreams play out the most. see references [1] and [2].

    Somehow, our brain goes through our memories and starts sorting them out. Some, throws away and we will never remember them again. Others, it dials back the emotion before restoring it – so that when we recall it again, the emotion is not as strong. This is our natural way of dealing with stress.

    Anxiety and Sleep

    There is clear scientific evidence that sleep helps the anxious mind both in REM sleep and in NREM sleep. Somehow, the brain is more able to deal with stress when a person gets sufficient sleep. See references [3] and [4]

    The problem arises when we don’t get enough sleep. Sometimes a vicious circle is created whereby anxiety prevents us from sleeping, wakes us up in the middle of the night, or gives us nightmares that wake us and make it difficult to go back to sleep. This lack of sleep, as well as being exhausting, means that our daily stresses are not dealt with properly in the brain, which makes the anxiety worse.

    Medication

    It is possible to get medication to deal with lack of sleep. Some of the prescription sleep medication acts as a sedative. Sedation is not the same as sleep, so the normal process of dealing with stress does not take place in the same way.

    If you are prescribed medication by your doctor, then please follow the doctor’s advice and take it. My advice would be to discuss with your doctor how any prescribed medication impacts your anxiety.

    Sleep Hygiene

    There are many tips on how to get to a better sleep regime available that I will not duplicate here. I would suggest looking at this website [5] to start with.

    If You Still Have Problems …

    I help people with stress and anxiety and people with sleeping difficulties, using hypnotherapy to help them regain control of their lives. I work out of my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online. I would be happy if you want to Contact Me.

    References

    [1] REM Sleep as a source of memory consolidation and emotional regulation
    https://www.sleepfoundation.org/stages-of-sleep/rem-sleep

    [2] There is some evidence to suggest memory consolidation occurs during NREM sleep.
    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0959438817300107

    [3] REM sleep as a helps with anxiety
    https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2847051/

    [4] Deep sleep may help treat anxiety
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326926

    [5] Sleep hygiene
    https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-fall-asleep-faster-and-sleep-better/

    Photo courtesy of Polina Kovaleva on Pexels

  • Who’s in control: You or Nicotine: Make 2025 the Year to Quit Smoking

    Who’s in control: You or Nicotine: Make 2025 the Year to Quit Smoking

    I am talking to you smokers out there who are fed up with the control that nicotine has over you. If you are okay with your smoking habit then you don’t need to read any further. If you are fully prepared to take the risk, don’t read the rest of this article.

    The Health Risks of Smoking

    If smoking were discovered today for the first time, it would be immediately classified as a Class A drug. Why? Because it is highly addictive and the side effects of smoking will kill you, in one of many different ways.

    If you smoke, you are far more likely to develop cancer. We have all heard of lung cancer – but cigarette smoke also causes cancer in the mouth, throat, bladder, cervix … the list goes on. It can cause strokes and heart disease.

    And here’s a warning for all men who want to maintain a good sex life … because of the problems cigarettes does to your circulation, smoking can lead to your erections not being as hard – and ultimately to erectile dysfunction.

    What About Vapes?

    The scientific evidence shows that vaping is less harmful than smoking at least in the short to medium term. No one knows what the long term effects of vaping are because they have not been around for that long. Vapes have been around for about 20 years and we have no understanding of the risks to health if you vape for longer than that.

    Quitting Smoking

    Around 10% of the adult population in the UK still smokes, although hundreds are quitting every day. Smokers are all different. Some can just give up, others struggle to quit, and there are some who find it almost impossible. Everyone’s brain is wired differently and so everyone will experience quitting smoking in a different way. Willpower is needed, but for some – something extra is needed.

    There are plenty of nicotine replacement products out there. Vapes are the current trend, but there are also nicotine patches, gum and pouches that sit behind your lip. You can quit the harmful cigarette smoke, but you are just switching one addiction for another.

    Hypnotherapy for Quitting Smoking

    Hypnotherapy can be a very effective way to quit smoking. Most hypnotherapist will take you in for one session, and you walk out as a non-smoker. Of course, there are no guarantees, and willpower is still needed.

    Some time ago, I received a phone call. The voice on the other end of the line said to me, “I don’t know if you remember me. You gave me hypnotherapy to quit smoking last year and since then I had not even thought about having a cigarette. Three weeks ago, I got a bit drunk at a party and someone offered me a cigarette. I took it and the next day I was back on twenty a day. Can you do me again please?”

    Ever since that call, I decided to offer a follow up session to anyone who wants my hypnotherapy services to help them quit. A week or so after they quit, I see them again to drive everything home to reduce the chance of them picking up the habit again.

    And Finally …

    If you want to Quit Smoking (or vaping) you might want to consider my quit smoking hypnotherapy package, which you can find out about Here, or simply Contact Me – but only when you really want to quit.

    Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels

  • Happy Christmas – Even If This Season Is Difficult For You

    Happy Christmas – Even If This Season Is Difficult For You

    As we approach Christmas, remember that whereas some people find this season a time of joy and celebration, there are others who find this time difficult. Anxiety can lessen through this period, but for some it can surge.

    In many households around the world, Christmas will bring a sense of joy and pleasure. Many will enjoy good food and the pleasure of giving and receiving gifts. Many will love the gathering of families and friends. Of course, there is also the pleasure of those traditions associated with the season – the decorations, the Christmas trees, the carols as well as all the others.

    For those of you who find the change in routine hard; those for whom the endless round of social occasions increases their anxiety; those for whom Christmas brings back memories or loved ones who have passed; those who are on their own and feeling particularly lonely during this season; and for those of you who find the increasing commercialisation of Christmas to be an anathema. It is to you that I send my greetings.

    My only council to you is this: Seek out the things that give you a tiny nugget of joy. Notice them, focus your attention on them, and fully embrace them. Whatever give you joy – do more of it, no matter how small. Remember the good things and appreciate them. They are there for you – so seek them out.

    I will be back in the New Year. You can Contact Me if you need my help with your anxiety or other issues. I work out of my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Photo by David Orsborne on Pexels

  • The Starting Point for Hypnotherapy: What Do You Really Want?

    The Starting Point for Hypnotherapy: What Do You Really Want?

    Every week I see clients in my hypnotherapy clinic who come to me with problems. They are having panic attacks, or sleep problems; maybe they are struggling with depression or worry; sometimes they are concerned about how much they drink or how much sugar they are eating.

    Whoever they are, they usually start with a problem. They tell me that they don’t want to have the problem. It is something they are doing or feeling or thinking about that they don’t like – they just want to get rid of it and can’t seem to do it on their own.

    After hearing what the problem is, I will usually ask: “So what do you want instead? What do you really want?”

    The Subconscious’s Role

    If you are thinking, feeling or doing something that you don’t really want to – it is your subconscious that is prompting you to do it. The subconscious is not good at processing things that are said in the negative. If I tell you not to think of a pink elephant – you have to think of a pink elephant in order to decide not to think about it. If I tell you not to keep doing your problem, your subconscious is prompted to think about it again – which just re-enforces the problem.

    Start With the Positive

    So I want to find out – what does my client want instead. Suppose a client comes to me complaining of anxiety when travelling on a train. It is important to start to understand how they would like to feel when travelling on a train – calm maybe … or excited … or maybe they don’t want to feel anything about and just get lost in a book.

    Whatever it is, thinking about how they would like to feel is the first step on the path to getting rid of the problem.

    You Can Do This Yourself

    So if you get worried about something – you can start by asking yourself, “How would I like to feel about it?” “What would it be like if I did feel like that?”

    Or if you find it difficult to get to sleep at night, ask yourself, “What would I like to feel like when I get into bed?” “How would I feel in the morning after a good night’s sleep?”

    I know that this is not the whole answer – it is just the starting point. But it is one step on from simply worrying about the problem.

    And Finally …

    There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself when you have problems, but if you cannot manage to get through on your own, you might consider therapy of one type or another. I help people with anxiety and other issues in my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also online. If you want to Contact Me, I would be happy to have a chat.

    Photo by cottonbro studio on pexels

  • Five Things That Are Not True About Hypnotherapy

    Five Things That Are Not True About Hypnotherapy

    There are many ideas and myths about hypnotherapy that are entirely wrong. Here are just some of them.

    Hypnotherapy is Not Just About Quitting Smoking

    Hypnotherapy is known for helping people give up smoking. Many people do not realise that hypnotherapy can help people with all sorts of other issues – issues such as anxiety, depression, “bad” habits, phobias, psychological sexual problems, lack of confidence and so on.

    In fact hypnotherapy can help anyone who has problems about feeling in a way that they don’r want to feel, thinking about things they don’t want to think about, or doing things that they don’t really want to do.

    Hypnotherapy is Not Just Woo-Woo

    Some people think of hypnotherapy as a bit woo-woo – an unconventional treatment that is strange, alternative and unscientific. It is true that hypnotherapy has not yet achieved the level of scientific research to allow it to become a mainstream therapy. However, it is based on science.

    At the heart of hypnotherapy is the understanding of the brain and how conflict within it sometimes leads to a person not being the person they want to be. There is growing scientific research that is pushing hypnotherapy into being the mainstream.

    A Hypnotherapist Cannot Make You Do Something You Don’t Want To Do

    You may have seen or heard of a stage hypnotist who, apparently, makes someone from the audience cluck like a chicken. These stage performers have given clinical hypnotherapists a bad name. Stage hypnotists are very clever at picking out people from the audience who are perfectly happy making an idiot of themselves on stage – and just need an excuse to do so.

    You cannot be made to do something you don’t want to under hypnosis. Hypnosis just makes it easier to achieve what you want to achieve.

    There is No-one Who Cannot Go Into a Trance

    Some people are concerned that they may not be able to go into trance. They are wrong – everyone can go into a trance.

    If you can watch a film or read a book and get lost in the story, if you ever catch yourself day-dreaming, if you drive to work and then realise that you don’t remember any of the journey, then you can go into trance. We go into and out of light trances every day. What a hypnotherapist does is to take you into a trance that may be slightly deeper than these experiences.

    You Cannot Get Stuck in a Trance

    I have met people who worry that they will might get stuck in trance and not be able to get out again. This is nonsense.

    When you are in a trance, your conscious attention may be drawn away from what is around you. If left in this state, you will naturally come out of trance sooner or later.

    And Finally …

    Although I specialise in helping people with anxiety to get themselves back in charge of themselves and to return to a state of normality, I also help people with all sorts of other issues. I run my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and also work online. If you think I might be able to help you, Contact Me and I will be happy to have a chat.

    Image by Leandro De Carvalho from Pixabay