Tag: #anxiety

I see many clients in my clinic, and the first thing I ask them is, “What can I do to help?” Most clients usually start by telling all their problems – everything that is wrong with them. It could be their anxiety, their worries, their obsessions, their fears, and all their low moments.

The next question I ask is, “So, what do you want instead?” It is this question that stumps some of my clients. They just want to get rid of the anxiety, depression, fear, anger, or whatever it is they don’t like about the way they are. But they don’t always think of how they would like to be instead. For example, if they feel anxious when they wake up, I want to know how they would like to feel when they wake up if they weren’t anxious.

This is the first step in the change process, because it is a very simple fact that when someone thinks a lot about their fear, anxiety, anger or whatever, their brain just gets more stressed and the
fear, anxiety, anger or whatever gets stronger.

The brain is not good at processing negative statements. If I tell you, “Don’t think of a pink pineapple” then the first thing you think of is that pink pineapple. That is because your brain finds it difficult to process the “Don’t” part of the statement.

So if you start to tell yourself, “I don’t want this anxiety/worry/harmful behaviour”, your brain will probably think about it some more, making it more likely to happen. And that is why it is really important to ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”

This is the crux of all solution-focused therapies, and you can do it yourself. If there are circumstances when you have anxiety, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel in these circumstances” and then imagine yourself being like that.

For example, if you feel anxious about answering the phone, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel when I answer the phone?” You might answer, “I want to be confident answering the phone.” You can then focus on being confident answering the phone, instead of focusing on not being anxious.

If you cannot manage your anxiety on your own, you may like to consider getting help. In my clinic in Fleet, I help people with anxiety. I use solution-focused hypnotherapy to help them get back in control of their lives and get rid of the unwanted symptoms.

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Everyone has anxiety sometimes. It’s when the anxiety starts to effect your life that it’s time to do something about it. This is the 10,000 foot-high view of what you can do about it. In broad terms, there are three mainstream ways of dealing with your anxiety:

1. Self-help techniques – There are a range of techniques that you can learn to do yourself. For example, simply recognising if something is triggering the anxiety and avoiding it, various breathing techniques, and practicing mindfulness are three very different approaches, all of which can help.
2. Therapy – Different therapies have different approaches to deal with anxiety and will suit different people. Hypnotherapy focuses on getting the subconscious fight-or-flight part of the brain to recognise there is no need to be anxious. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) works on the relationship between thoughts, emotions, behaviours and bodily sensations.
3. Medication – Prescribed medications can alter your brain chemistry to help dampen the extremes of anxiety.

If you go to your NHS doctor (in the UK) about your anxiety, they will start by asking you questions about your anxiety, such as how often you feel anxious, and may diagnose you with one of several categories of anxiety (such as generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder).

Depending on the severity of the anxiety, your doctor will probably offer you advice on self-help techniques. If you don’t get anywhere with self-help, the next step will probably be to offer you and initial course of six sessions of CBT. Finally, if that fails to help, they may prescribe anti-anxiety medication. (All of these may be prescribed by your local surgery or a consultant psychiatrist.)

The big advantage to UK citizens is that the NHS service is provided free of charge. The disadvantage is that it may take some time to get the service that you need. Another disadvantage is that, unfortunately, hypnotherapy is not yet available on the NHS.

In my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet in Hampshire, I regularly see clients with anxiety and anxiety-related issues. I typically find that they can achieve a significant reduction in their anxiety levels with between 5 and 10 hypnotherapy sessions.

Remember that the questions to ask yourself first are, “Is my anxiety adversely affecting my life? And if so, is it bad enough for me to want to actively do something about it?”

The next step is to choose which route you are going to take:

• DIY – Do it yourself — research the Internet for some self-help techniques to try by yourself.
• NHS — go to your doctor and follow the route described above.
• Therapist — find a qualified hypnotherapist, CBT therapist or counsellor.
• Class — find a class in mindfulness, yoga or something else that involves relaxation.

Or you could try multiple routes at the same time.

And, of course, I have to include a little promotion for my own hypnotherapy clinic … so if you want a qualified hypnotherapist who specialises in anxiety, just get in touch.

Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash

Do others see you as a high-achiever, calm, well-organised, and getting loads of stuff done? And while you achieve all this, are you secretly worried, with your mind going like the clappers – thinking of all the stuff you have to do, and scared that you might make a mistake somewhere along the line?

That is high-functioning anxiety – confidently achieving a lot on the outside, but stressed out and worried on the inside – like the swan looking magnificent on the surface, but whose legs are frantically paddling down below the surface.

High-functioning anxiety is not a medical term. There is no agreed definition. If you go to a doctor, they will probably describe you as having “Generalised Anxiety Disorder” – or GAD for short. GAD is a catch-all term for all sorts of anxiety issues.

The problem with high-functioning anxiety is that you are running with your stress bucket on full – that is, there is so much stress in your life that just a little more will push you over the edge. We all have stresses in our lives and store them in our (metaphorical) stress bucket. Usually, the stuff in your stress bucket is dealt with naturally during your sleep, but sometimes, there’s just too much there.

Some people find it a little embarrassing to admit that their external appearance (high achiever, well-organised, involved in everything) is different from their internal feelings (anxiety, worry, tension). And so it can carry on for a long time without getting properly addressed.

A person with high-functioning anxiety may think that if they do something about their anxiety, they won’t achieve as much – and so they may be scared to actually do something about it. This may stop them seeking help. They may be so busy, that they don’t think they have time to look for help.

So what is the answer? What can you do if you do think you have high-functioning anxiety?

It is not simply a case of doing less – there is not a one-to-one correspondence between how much you do and how much anxiety you have. And there is no one-size-fits-all solution … what will work for you will not work for someone else.

The starting point is to work out what is important to you in your life – where your priorities lie. You also have to make a decision – is my mental health important enough for me to take time out to do something about it. Maybe you can do something for yourself, or maybe it’s a good idea to seek professional advice from someone who can help you.

A properly qualified hypnotherapist can certainly help, and other therapies may better suit some people. Whatever you decide to do – the first thing is to start.

Photo by Erik van Dijk on Unsplash