Tim Maude Hypnotherapy

Author: Tim

  • Loosing Control Can Make Anxiety Go Through The Roof

    Loosing Control Can Make Anxiety Go Through The Roof

    Loosing control of things that happen in your life is one of the worst ways to create anxiety.

    • Maybe there are a whole load of bills that have just come in, and you have no idea how you can possibly pay them all – you feel the anxiety growing.
    • Maybe there is a big reorganisation happening at work, and you don’t know where you will end up, or even if you’ll have a job at the end of the month – anxiety increases again.
    • Or maybe you need to see a doctor urgently and you cannot find a way through to get an appointment – and the anxiety goes through the roof.

    These are things that are out of your control. Bad stuff happens to us in our lives and sometimes we cannot control it – it just happens. When things get out of control, the primitive part of our brain starts to generate anxiety. Anxiety hits us in the gut over and over again because the problem just doesn’t sort itself out on its own.

    The problem gets worse because when anxiety strikes, it is very difficult to think straight. The anxiety floods your thinking process so it is extremely difficult to put any serious thought into starting to solve the problems that have just hit you.

    And when friends or family say, “Just calm down a bit.” It doesn’t help! Unless you have trained yourself to calm down, you cannot just calm down on command!

    So what do you do? …

    To operate properly, your brain needs to have some sense of control. You need to find something that you can control.

    You don’t have to solve the problem all at once – but just find one thing that you can get control of. It doesn’t even have to be something to do with the problems that are throwing themselves at you. It might be as simple as taking control of your breathing and slowing it down.

    Once your have control over something, the primitive part of your brain that generates all that anxiety will start to relax – even just a bit. So look for what you can do.

    You could do something related to your problems – like phoning the bank and telling them you are have difficulty paying the bills. You could also do something not related to your problems – like tidying up the socks in your sock draw. I know this sounds a bit silly – tidying socks will not sort out your financial problems – but it will help get your brain to calm down a little bit – because you are regaining control. And maybe that little bit of calm will allow you to start sorting out the real problem.

    So to get your anxiety to calm down, find something that you can control and do it – straight away.

    If you need help is getting your anxiety under control, remember that I help people who are only just coping with anxiety and stress. I use hypnotherapy to help people get back in control of their lives. I work in Fleet, Hampshire and can also help people online over Zoom. I would be happy to hear from you.

    Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

  • Why Do So Many People Quit Smoking In January?

    Why Do So Many People Quit Smoking In January?

    Each year in January, I receive a flurry of calls from people who want to give up smoking. So why in January rather than any other time of the year? I suppose it is because people associate the New Year with a time to start afresh, and to move on. My clients tell me that they have put the last year behind them and it is time to start anew.

    Maybe it is because people see more hope in the New Year – hope that this year will be better than the last. They decide that now is the time to get rid of that old smoking habit that has not served them well in the past.

    There are some people who really struggle with quitting. They need some help and so come in search of an experienced hypnotherapist. There are others who seem to be able to just stop, without any effort whatsoever. My job as a hypnotherapist is to help the people who struggle to quit. I help them move towards that group of people who can just stop without any effort. They still need to put the effort in to resist, but it is a lot less of a struggle once they have had hypnotherapy.

    I had a phone call last year. The voice said, “I don’t know if you remember me. You helped me quit smoking last year. I didn’t think about smoking all year, until I went to a party recently, got drunk and someone offered me a cigarette. The next day I was back smoking 20 a day. Can you help me again please.”

    This experience has made me rethink my approach to helping people quit. I am now providing a follow-up session a week after the quit-smoking session – just to embed the messages and really focus on my client’s ability to recognise and refuse temptation in the years to come.

    Around 90% of people in the UK over 16 do not smoke cigarettes. If you are struggling to join them, why not give hypnotherapy a go? I run my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online.

    Photo by Andres Siimon on Unsplash

  • Is It Time To Do Something About Your Anxiety?

    Is It Time To Do Something About Your Anxiety?

    How much of the rest of your life will you put up with anxiety before choosing to do something about it?

    Anxiety is something that creeps up on you. Everyone experiences moments of anxiety throughout their lives, but if you are particularly stressed – the moments of anxiety increase. And then one moment of anxiety starts to run into another, and soon you feel the anxiety most of the time without there really being a reason for it.

    Some people I meet in my clinic have suffered from anxiety for years, but because it just crept up on them, it became their normal way of life and so they didn’t do anything about it. One client said to me, “I’ve had anxiety for the last ten years, and I think it’s about time to do something about it.” Later on he admitted, “Actually, I should have done something about this when it started ten years ago!”

    As I write this, it reminds me of a story …

    The Tale of the Dog on the Veranda

    There was once young man who went for a walk in the woods. He came across an old shack, and sitting on the veranda of the old shack was an old woman on a rickety old chair. And on the veranda floor, a beautiful dog lay at her feet. The old woman pointed to the chair beside her and invited the young man to sit and talk.

    As they chatted, the beautiful dog made a lot of uncomfortable grizzling and griping noises, so the young man asked the old woman, “Why is your dog grizzling and griping?” And the old woman replied, “Well, you see, this shack is rather old, and there’s a bit of an old nail that sticks up on the veranda, and he’s chosen to lie down right on the nail. It makes him uncomfortable, so he grizzles and gripes.”

    The young man asked, “Why doesn’t your dog just move?”

    “Well you see,” said the old woman, “it doesn’t hurt him enough yet.”

    Step One – Make a Decision

    The first step is to make the decision to do something about the anxiety. Many people suffer from excessive stress and anxiety because they have come to accept it as “the norm” and so it does not occur to them to look for a solution. It is easier to drift on, putting up with it, and trying to show a brave and smiling face – while boiling away with anxiety underneath.

    You are going to have to put some effort into it, and maybe some money – but, rest assured, you can do something about it. So make a decision one way or the other.

    Step Two – Consider Your Options

    There are three broad ways of tackling anxiety – none of which give instant results – you have to be patient.

    1. Self-help – There are lots of things you can do to get your anxiety under a bit more control, such as doing exercise, regulating your sleep, having more positive conversations with other people, paying attention to the good stuff that is happening around you (no matter how small), and so on. Searching the Internet will give you plenty of ideas.
    2. Medication – Go and see your GP and talk about your symptoms. The GP may well prescribe one or more medications that will help you.
    3. Therapy – Two of the most common forms of therapy are CBT (an analytical approach that analyses your anxiety and ways to reduce it) – and hypnotherapy (which deals with those subconscious thoughts and emotions outside your conscious control).

    As a hypnotherapist, I strongly favour hypnotherapy, as I have seen so many successful outcomes – but, of course, different approaches suit different types of people. And of course, there is nothing stopping you doing several of these things at once.

    Step Three – Start Doing Something

    It doesn’t matter where you choose to start – just start something. If it doesn’t suit you, you can always move on to something else. Just don’t procrastinate over doing something – whatever it is.

    And Finally …

    If one of your choices is hypnotherapy, contact me and I will be happy to talk it through with you and answer any questions you might have. I run my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as serving clients online.

    Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

  • What is Trance and is it safe in Hypnotherapy?

    What is Trance and is it safe in Hypnotherapy?

    Trance is a normal state that your mind can go into. Indeed, our minds drift in and out of trance everyday. Imagine yourself sitting down reading a good book, or watching a film perhaps – something that totally absorbs you.

    In trance you are totally absorbed about something, not consciously making an effort to do anything, just allowing your subconscious to get on with doing whatever it is you are doing. Do you recognise any of these experiences?:

    • Most drivers will have experienced a time when they drive a familiar route – to work perhaps – and when they arrive, they cannot remember anything that happened on the way. This is because they allowed their subconscious to get on with the driving while their mind was dreaming about something else.
    • Football fans will experience watching their favourite team play an important game, and be so absorbed with every pass of the ball that they are unaware of anything else going on around them.
    • When going to a dance, people can find themselves so absorbed in the music and the movement of their bodies that everything else disappears from their mind.
    • Throughout the day, we all experience moments when our minds start daydreaming about something.

    There are many other examples of trance that I’m sure you can think of – times when you are so absorbed in something or times when you are doing something so familiar to you that you do it without thinking and you can go into a day-dream. It is at these times of everyday trance when our minds become creative as they are free to do whatever they want to do.

    During these times our subconscious minds can get on with processing unwanted emotions or working on a solution to a problem without us being consciously aware of it.

    And this is why trance is so useful in hypnotherapy. After discussing a problem and what could be done to alleviate it, the hypnotherapist puts the client into trance. The subconscious mind can then start to work on a solution to the problem without the client being aware of what is going on. The brain will continue to work on find a solution beyond the session and so it may be a while later that changes start to happen.

    Trance is a natural state that everyone goes into – every single day – even if it is just for a few moments. Through skilled use of questioning and inducing a trance, the hypnotherapist can use the healing power of trance to help the client discover their own solutions to their own particular problems.

    If you would like help with a problem, such as anxiety or high stress, I can help. I provide hypnotherapy services from my clinic in Fleet, Hampshire as well as online. Just contact me for a confidential chat to start with.

    Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

  • Unraveling Christmas Anxiety and Stress

    Unraveling Christmas Anxiety and Stress

    The first Christmas was undoubtedly a stressful time for Mary and Joseph – being forced to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census, at a time when Mary was heavily pregnant, and then finding that there was no accommodation available, just as Mary went into labour. This was probably a more stressful experience than many of us will ever know.

    For many people, Christmas is a happy time, but for some, however, Christmas simply increases their anxiety beyond its normal limits.

    Christmas Stressors

    Here are just some of the things that add stress during the Christmas period:

    • Buying, wrapping and posting gifts and cards – all within a strict timeframe
    • Managing the extra costs involved with celebrating Christmas
    • Attending the many social occasions (which is particularly stressful for the more introverted)
    • Balancing the expectations of different members of the wider family
    • Doing the gift-giving, cooking, washing up, cleaning up the mess etc etc on the day
    • Feeling obliged to mix with relatives who you don’t really get on with
    • Regrets over drinking and eating too much of the wrong things

    Of course, for some people there is an added loneliness of spending Christmas alone, or maybe it’s a time when they remember a loved one they have lost.

    Whether you love it or loathe it, Christmas undoubtedly adds to everyone’s stress levels. And some can cope with it better than others.

    The Christmas Impact on Anxiety

    For those that suffer from anxiety, Christmas is often particularly difficult. The additional stress that Christmas adds to our lives simply exacerbates the anxiety that is already there.

    Stress and anxiety go hand-in-hand. Everyone has stresses every day, some big and some small. It’s as if we have a bucket of stress inside us that is constantly being filled. When it gets too full, we respond with the symptoms of anxiety. So adding the extra stresses of Christmas exacerbates the situation.

    How to Survive Christmas Anxiety

    The first thing that I would recommend is to prioritise your own mental health. So maybe you forgot to buy the stuffing, perhaps Aunt Hilda is annoyed that you sent her the same gift as last year, and maybe your in-laws are upset because didn’t go round to see them on Boxing Day. Well that’s just tough – other people will just have to put up with it – your own mental health is more important than conforming to other people’s expectations.

    Plan as much as you can in advance, and make sure you plan in some downtime for you. Maybe plan in a couple of hours when you can just go for a walk on your own – and make sure you let everyone know that you need some “me-time”.

    Think about what you would really like to do at Christmas – not what other people expect you to do. What sort of Christmas would you really like if no-one else objected? Imagine it – what would you be doing, what would you eat, who would you see (if anyone)? Now negotiate with your family to see which bits of your ideal Christmas you can include in Christmas this year.

    And Finally …

    If you are struggling to cope with your anxiety, if you cannot keep it under control on your own, or if you simply want a bit of help … you can always book a few sessions with me. I run my hypnotherapy clinic in Fleet, Hampshire and specialise in helping people with anxiety to get their lives back in control again.

    References

    YouGov poll on Christmas and mental health
    https://yougov.co.uk/health/articles/26954-christmas-harms-mental-health-quarter-brits

    Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

  • Quit Smoking the Hypnotherapy Way

    Quit Smoking the Hypnotherapy Way

    Ever since I started hypnotherapy professionally, I have had people come to me wanting to quit smoking. It seems that there are two sorts of people who smoke – some who just decide to stop and do so with apparent ease – the others struggle with cravings and soon go back to smoking all over again. It is this latter group that seek the help of a professional hypnotherapist.

    Hypnotherapy is not magic. I cannot just click my fingers and make someone not want to smoke ever again. Hypnotherapy is about allowing the subconscious mind to accept that smoking is not necessary, so that it doesn’t constantly prompt you to light up.

    In hypnotherapy, quitting smoking is done quickly – in one long session. This is because, if you drag it out over a few weeks, cutting down day by day or week by week, the brain spends too much time thinking about smoking. This makes it harder for the subconscious to give up the idea of smoking.

    For the majority of my quit-smoking clients, this approach works very well. However, I have found two small problems that sometimes happen:

    • Firstly, I occasionally get clients who call me up saying, “Do you remember you helped me quit smoking last year. Well, I didn’t even think about smoking since seeing you until a few weeks ago. I was very stressed and someone offered me a cigarette, which I took. The next day I was back smoking fifteen a day. Can I come and see you again?”
    • Secondly, I sometimes get clients who call me a week or so after the quit smoking hypnotherapy session and say, “I haven’t smoked since I saw you, but I still sometimes crave a cigarette. Can you help?”

    And so as part of my quit smoking hypnotherapy service, I have decided to offer a free follow-up session. This is designed to reinforce the change that will have already taken place so that clients are able to reduce and cope with any cravings (if they have any). It will also reinforce the messages of what to do in moments of weakness in the months and years to come.

    There are an increasing number of people who have become addicted to vaping. Quit-smoking hypnotherapy works equally well with addictions to cigarettes or to vapes.

    If you need help quitting, and you really want to quit, check out my Quit Smoking page and contact me. We can have a chat on the phone first and if you want to go ahead, I will book you in.